This BL Novel Is Ruined Now - Chapter 136
A few years later—
As a family dinner was being held for the first time in a long while, the first one who spoke was their father, Count Demeron Fitzen.
“It’s been decided that I’ll be taking in Ellie Jehardt as an adopted daughter.”
As his spirit had been pulled and frayed and was ragged from all sides, Elijah did not react any differently to his father’s decision.
Of course, Laila and the count did not seem to be worried that Elijah would feel hurt by this. Of course, what could these lions do when they were without their pride leader? When quality could not be assured, the best they could do was compensate with quantity.
It was a known fact that Elijah was by no means a swordsman, so it wasn’t a bad idea to bring in someone from the branch family who had already lost her parents.
“By the way, Elijah. I heard that you’re refusing to go on Cressen’s inspection.”
As the count was slicing through the lamb, which seeped out red juice, he gracefully set down his knife and fork.
The command was concise.
Laila, who was drinking a glass of wine, also added to the grim order.
“I also heard that you don’t interact with the other members of the nine households.”
“…There is no need.”
It wouldn’t be strange to wake up to a dagger pointed at his neck tomorrow, so nothing truly mattered. It’s ridiculous.
Setting down the crystal goblet, Laila proceeded to eat again as though she was not interested.
The moment she stabbed into the meat, red blood splattered over one of Laila’s cheeks. It was not a blunt knife. It’s just, the leg that had been served to her was much too tough.
But why should she be considerate about that? Her eyebrows became finely distorted.
The count, sitting at the far end of the table, clicked his tongue. The chef standing in one corner trembled as he immediately bowed his head.
In case the food being served had been poisoned, the Jehardt household’s exclusive chef was present during every meal for the sake of taste testing each dish.
“I-It had been caught freshly only today, s-so, I, well, I definitely removed the fascia…”
More expressionless than even a statue, the woman sighed quietly. Then the knights in black armor, stationed nearby, bowed their heads with practiced unison.
And they soon surrounded the chef who was prostrating desperately on the floor.
“Don’t kill him.”
The voice that uttered these three words was completely devoid of any emotion. Rather, she simply sounded bored, and it seemed as if she uttered the order only because she had to.
Perhaps her appetite had disappeared, but she set down her tableware as well.
“I’ll be getting up first, Father.”
The count allowed his daughter to leave, and she bowed her head slightly to him.
As she rose from her seat, the red military uniform of the Ministry of Defense was revealed. The metal epaulets upon her shoulders resounded starkly within the quiet dining hall as she took one step after another.
On the way to the door, Laila paused and spoke in a low voice.
“It is not cowardly to use allies from the outside.”
The gazes of both siblings, each drier than a desert and lacking any emotion at all, met in the air.
“Only those who are cowardly fail to survive. That is the rule of the world that we live in.
In the end, Elijah said that he would be participating in the ‘Cressen inspection’ along with the other members of the nine households.
* * *
A few months later, at the forest of the rapids.
The disgrace of House Chantra, the irredeemable troublemaker.
Elijah had always been curious about her. As she had accumulated notorious monikers one after another from all the people who denounced her, he couldn’t help but wonder what kind of person she was.
He had yet to meet her because he was avoiding banquets out of self-preservation. But as the days went by, his curiosity for her grew deeper.
Right. Perhaps he agreed to go to Cressen only because of Reina Chantra.
Then again, she must have heard about the cursed white wolf, too.
As his thoughts coincided with the voice he had just heard, the hairs on his arms stood up straight as though he was a cat. In his surprise, he slipped and fell on his bottom without realizing it.
“I don’t think you broke any bones. Does it hurt when you aren’t moving?”
Light purple eyes, unwavering, met his gaze.
‘Eyes like Ellie’s…’
Like someone who grew up surrounded with love—a natural, carefree air.
Right. Just like that little girl, Reina was one such person who exuded such radiant grace.
He felt it instinctively.
So unlike his monochromatic self, she was iridescently warm.
“Then it’s not a major injury.”
Though still maintaining his vigilance, he answered nonetheless. She pursed her beautiful lips for a moment. Then, she stuck out the tip of one of her fingers.
At the end of that finger, there was a drop of blood that smelled so strongly of lavender.
Could blood also hold scents? By the time his thoughts dazedly reached that question, the conversation between them continued again.
“Just stick out the tip of your tongue and take this.”
But unfortunately, as Elijah had never felt any warmth from his family or his deceased mother, he… was feeling severely awkward.
It’s as if he had been living in a dark cave for all his life, yet was suddenly given the opportunity to see the sun. Scrunching his eyes, he could not look directly at the blinding light.
Reina’s brilliant expression was just like that. The interest and care she was showing him was making Elijah’s senses go dull and faint.
But on the other hand, he felt so warm.
Truly, in every which way, she was the sun itself.
How does it feel now?
Since when have you been stuck here?
What if everyone else already went back down?
While the sun steadily descended and touched the horizon, she constantly asked questions, like someone who was trying to coax a little cub out of a frozen body of water and back to solid ground.
A bright light permeated through the retina and stimulated the optic nerve.
Once again, it was bright.
And, it felt like there was something stuck in his throat from time to time.
With that strange sensation, he suddenly became curious.
Did Reina not despise him?
“We’re not even close. Why are you so nice to me?”
It was a serious question that he asked with endless consideration. However, the sun burst into a bright smile, as though the answer was obvious.
“Should two people be close first before they help one another? Especially when one is hurt?”
Why did she not mention the words, ‘white wolf’?
It wasn’t the worst answer. However…
Why did he feel so empty?
All of a sudden, he became conscious of a brewing hunger within him. Gradually getting more and more influenced by that sad emotion, he felt like he was about to sink beneath the winter lake once again.
And this emotion would have continued, had it not been for the words that followed.
“But other than that, it’s strange, but I kinda like you.”
“Then should I not?”
“I’m gonna catch the curse! Elijah, go away!”
“I can’t hang out with you— What if my mom dies too?!”
As he could not give a proper answer, Reina chuckled.
“Should there be a reason for one person to like another? Right?”
“…Is that so?”
“Yeah. You feel what you feel.”
So that’s how emotions were felt.
That day, he awakened to a realization.
It was possible for ‘Elijah Jehardt’ and ‘like’ to be combined in one sentence.
That he and the word ‘like’ or ‘good’ were compatible, and that he could live as himself as ‘Eli’, not a ‘white wolf’.
“I like you, too, Reina.”
From then on, Eli Jehardt could never let go of Reina Chantra.
Want to read more? Up to  advanced chapters are available on Patreon:
For update pings, novel discussions and/or to send mistake reports, join our discord server~!