Weed ~The One’s Gardener~ - Chapter 95

Hana had come all this way with the intention of curing Weed’s divine disease, saving him, and erasing his memories. However, was that truly the best course of action? Until now, she had believed there was no other option. Every time she performed the sacrificial ritual, Weed cried as if the heavens were collapsing around him. Each time her life flickered out in this place, he couldn’t bear it and shed tears. He would refrain from eating and drinking for at least a week, consumed by sorrow.

In the end, it was said that he even lost consciousness.

Weed’s condition worsened with each subsequent summoning. The emotions that had crumbled within him over time accumulated, becoming too heavy to bear. That was why Hana had decided to grant him the grace of forgetfulness—to prevent such devastation from happening.

If she didn’t erase his memories, it was obvious the same thing would happen again. No, this time, it could be the most serious yet. It would be fortunate if he simply cried himself unconscious.

There was a possibility he might even take his own life this time.

However, erasing his memories wouldn’t be easy for Weed. Hana knew that if she were in a similar situation, she wouldn’t want to forget either. Losing one’s memories meant losing parts of oneself, and it was an unpleasant fate, no matter whom she asked.

“Still, I hope Weed doesn’t suffer.”

Hana reconsidered.

The only choice she had left was to erase his memories. By doing so, he could live well in a new world, seemingly unaware of everything—free from both the void and the divine disease.

It was said that Weed had never formed deep connections with anyone before. His emotional turmoil began only after she arrived in Lar. Before that, he had suppressed his emotions to the limit. Perhaps if he hadn’t, those emotions would have crumbled and ultimately broken him.

Yet, Weed had also claimed he didn’t know Hana was a god.

He cried without knowing, which suggested that even without memories, emotions remained. Was there any guarantee that erasing his memories would make him happy? One shouldn’t expect miracles from uncertain outcomes.

Was this truly the best?

‘We do not merely want him to live alone. Simply being alive is not meaningful.’

Hana felt the same way. It wasn’t enough for Weed to just live and breathe; that would be meaningless.

From this day onward, would he truly be able to smile?

No, no, she had to admit it. This wasn’t the best solution. At the very least, Weed didn’t want this. It wasn’t for anyone else’s sake. She had come all this way because she wanted to, and she shouldn’t make excuses for it.

What she did wasn’t for him—it was for her own selfishness.

Hana accepted that she had been selfish. She had come this far, driven by her own desires, believing that this was truly the way to help him. That desire still burned within her. Even now, in this situation, she was contemplating how to achieve a better outcome.

‘But this is all I can choose right now.’

A narrow range of choices meant there was less knowledge to rely on.

Once, a man named Calden had said he couldn’t understand. Hana had responded that, no matter how unpleasant the information, she wanted to hear it all. Even if it was better not knowing certain things, she still wanted to know.

She understood, but Hana had always wanted to know everything.

She didn’t even like well-intentioned lies. She wanted to face every truth, no matter how uncomfortable, because that was how she could make decisions without regrets.

If things continued as they were, she felt she would be left with regrets.

She wanted to know. She had to know.

Even if she would soon fade away, she was still a god of this world. As such, she needed to understand everything about it.

Her body began to dissolve, starting at her toes. The transparent form scattered like smoke. There was no time left. She had to decide what to do before it was too late. This was the final destination her soul, as a god, had reached after all its journeys. Void had said he was responsible for the last wishes of the lives drawn into the void, and perhaps all those lives had gone through similar processes.

If that were the case, then first and foremost—

“What did my other lives want?”

She asked a question.

Then, as if waiting for this moment, memories began to flood in.

“Ugh…!“

She couldn’t even scream.

Terrible pain surged through her. Memories flooded in, overwhelming her entire being. The pain wasn’t just in her body—it felt as though her mind was shattering. Information rushed in like a dam breaking, an overwhelming torrent of knowledge flooding her.

Hana gritted her teeth.

She would endure this!

She was still worthy of it!

At first, she had been a bug. Born as a lowly creature crawling on the ground. By chance, she had glimpsed a power akin to the sun and understood a fragment of it.

Let’s create a world.

Was that a presumptuous thought? Arrogance? Or was it true pride?

At that moment, Hana relived all her lives once more. She was born. She lived. She died. She was born again. To survive, she ate, and to live, she killed. And then she died. Born again. To survive, she killed and consumed someone, and to live, she was killed and consumed by another.

Again, she died. Born again. Died again.

Still, still. She needed to know more. It felt as though she was on the edge of grasping something.

She repeated the memories once more. The pain was nothing. She was reborn. She lived a painful life. Yet there was no eternal pain. There was no eternal happiness either. In this world, nothing comes without a cost. You give, and you receive.

Life is an endless cycle of giving and taking. She died. She lived. She was born.

Still, still not enough. Again.

She lived. She died. She was born. She died. She died. She died. It was an endless repetition. She was born. She lived. She died.

Again.

She was born. She killed. She lived. She died.

Again.

Again!