Villainous Husband, the One You’re Obsessed With Is Over There - Chapter 185

Chapter 93.1

I remained alone and looked out the window.

It was a familiar yet unfamiliar scenery. Although the locations of all structures were familiar, the sight of these bare trees felt flustering.

…In the end, I returned to the imperial palace.

Despite the fact that I couldn’t fully accept the fact that I was the Saint of Tunia this time, I continued attempting to kill Raniero. The day before leaving the temple, I unexpectedly seized a sword from one of the paladins and attacked Raniero. Then, on the way back to Actilus after leaving the temple, I even tried to strangle him by removing the bandage covering my injured hand.

Still, it was all in vain.

My attempts were consistently thwarted by Raniero’s animalistic instincts. After several failures, the little confidence I had left began to fade away.

‘…Could Seraphina have been mistaken?’

If I were the Saint of Tunia, shouldn’t I be succeeding to this extent? By That time, the unrecognizable voice that used to speak directly into my head was long gone.

I felt that I had changed a lot.

Attempting to kill Raniero would have been unthinkable for my past self. Even if, by some chance, I could try something like that, I wouldn’t have dared to try again after a single failure. However, as I slowly counted, it seemed I had made such attempts seven times.

Raniero’s reaction was similar each time.

He thwarted my attempt too easily with an emotionless face and simply uttered, ‘That’s too bad.’ Nevertheless, I had realized from the first attempt that his emotionless face was a shield. He was hurt by my actions.

‘Was he someone who could be hurt?’

I was surprised by that fact.

…And it was exhilarating.

The person who had always been above me, controlling me from the top of my head, was hurt by my actions.

Perhaps because of that, from the third attempt onwards, my focus seemed to shift from seriously intending to kill him to hurting him. Maybe I wanted to make up for all the times I endured his insensitive remarks and flattened myself from anxiousness.

I didn’t even realize it was bothering me when he behaved abjectly.

The realization that I envied him completely changed everything.

Regardless, that didn’t mean the fear towards him had completely vanished away. Every time I charged at him and failed to kill him, I was briefly ensnared in a swamp-like terror*. I feared that his patience would run out, and he would either kill me or cut off my limbs, saying, ‘The fun is over.’
[ T/N: The use of ‘늪 같은 공포’ (swamp-like fear) is a metaphorical expression to convey the intensity and suffocating nature of the fear experienced. ]

But despite knowing the risks, I kept plunging in.

And then, every time he covered his emotions with the mask of impassivity to hide his wounds and humiliation, a glee that surpassed fear would conquer my mind.

‘…Ah, I survived this time too.’

It seemed I had become addicted to that sensation. Now that my escape had failed and there was no hope left, that was the only joy I had.

If you could call such a low and sordid emotion joy.

After dismissing all the maids, the empress’s palace fell silent. The sound of the chilly wind occasionally rustling through the bare branches was the only thing I could hear.

I sat on the bed and then laid down.

“Cisen… Sylvia.”

I once asked Raniero about their whereabouts. He briefly replied that Cisen and Sylvia had been captured. The moment I learned about that news, my body stiffened. It was because, given his personality, I had assumed he would have surely killed them.

However, he told me that he didn’t kill them.

He stared at me after delivering the news, and even though I felt relief, a disappointed look briefly crossed his face.

What was it?

What other reaction was he hoping for? Anyway, even if Cisen and Sylvia’s lives were spared, their situation was likely far from secure. They must be constantly battling hunger inside the cold and damp prison.

I would have to ask Raniero if he could get them out of prison.

‘I don’t think I can bring them back to the Empress’s Palace.’

It was an obvious statement, but Eden was left at the Temple of Tunia. By the time Raniero and I were about to leave, he had recovered enough to walk around with crutches.

He had come to see me leave.

Our eyes briefly met, but fearing that Raniero might notice, I quickly turned away. Although he may be generous towards me, he wasn’t to Eden. I really didn’t want anything similar to what happened in the old sanctuary to happen again.

I could feel Eden’s gaze following me even without looking. It seemed as if he was asking,

‘What are we going to do from now on?’

Yeah, what should we do?

A bitter smile played on the corner of my lips. Even if he was doomed to failure as the sword of Tunia, he was a reliable colleague.

In the end, I was left alone.

“Alone…”

I muttered.

“I was left alone.”

Want to read more? Up to [40] advanced chapters are available on Patreon: