This BL Novel Is Ruined Now - Chapter 78
He hardened his expression further, as if to deny his realization of this dawn of change.
“Your skin looks more radiant.”
“That can’t be, my love.”
“I heard that you’ve gotten closer to several other people.”
He was immediately forthright with her.
But why did such a thing come out through his mouth. It was out of nowhere. It’s absolutely not like him.
“Are you jealous, my love?”
As if avoiding her violet eyes, which were seeing right through him, he averted his gaze and instead looked at the teacup in front of him.
“…All I wish is for you to find a new ‘love’.”
“My love is good at nonsense, too, huh? I’m completely yours.”
The word ‘nonsense’ jolted Ethan. Because if they’re talking about ‘nonsense’, the word more aptly fit her.
In any case, he pretended not to know and asked.
“Hm? What is?”
“What you said just now.”
“No, after that.”
“That I’m completely yours?”
“…Before that. Didn’t you say I’ve done ‘nonsense’?”
“Oh my, I would never say that though?”
In the end, he gave up this quintessentially ‘nonsense’ argument.
Anyway, it wasn’t important whether she said it or not. The important thing was… the fact that she had caused a change in him.
“Anyway, I’m yours and yours alone, my love.”
Then, Reina blinked one eye as if something had entered it. At the same time, Ethan looked around.
‘Good grief… This place is full of dust.’
Perhaps it’s because this spare drawing room was just used in a hurry, but the state of this room was terrible. It’s filthy. That’s why dust went into her eye.
Slightly biting down on the inside of his cheek, he thought about calling a maid in here. However, he stopped himself from doing so and boxed up his emotions yet again.
He was one hundred percent certain that he wouldn’t bat an eyelash if even the duke, his own biological father, were to be wracked with coughing fits from a tremendous amount of dust poured over his head.
But look at him now, so anxious to do something about a few specks of dust because of a certain someone.
Quite literally crazy.
What the hell kind of magic spell did Reina cast on him that he’s reacting so anxiously at even the slightest of her gestures?
Instead of calling for a maid, Ethan redirected his gaze back at her once again. Before he knew it, she also blinked and stared into his eyes.
Those clear eyes were directed straight at him. And, again, a strange sensation began welling up around his heart.
As a matter of fact, there had never been a moment in the past that he had felt such a sensation before. For the longest time, the world around him always felt like everything was as dry as ash.
Obviously, this had changed not too long ago.
Every word she uttered felt like honeyed blossoms. The world was now so colorful. He really was going crazy.
He clenched his fist tighter than ever, further pressing on the thirst that was surging ever higher within him.
What exactly did she do in Cressen that her lavender scent was now overflowing so much like this? Just what the hell did she do… that she’s making it so difficult for him right now?
But he refused to let her keep throwing him into chaos any longer.
And yet, on the other hand, he wanted her to keep staying in this drawing room.
He wanted to take her to his room.
That’s why he’s annoyed. And it’s because of how he looked on the outside that she’s now very obviously uncomfortable around him.
But, again, he was contradicting himself. He wanted to hear more of her voice, which kept on giving him a strange sense of security.
And if he were more honest with himself, he wanted to cast a spell around her neck so that she could use her voice only for the sole act of whispering into his ear.
So that others would not hear. So that only he could hear her.
Was he really crazy now?
Trying to ward off these strange urges within him, he felt himself getting even more tense.
“What business do you have here?”
However, his efforts proved to be useless in the end.
“My business is you though, Your Excellency?”
The same moment Reina said these words, the boundaries that he had set so high up collapsed in an instant, and all his apprehensions, which were making his nerves stand on edge, crumbled away.
It’s utterly ridiculous.
Even if he were to drink gallons upon gallons of water.
Even if he were to take deep breaths over and over again.
This urge would just not calm down.
When he realized this fact, he felt laughter bubbling at his lips. So, yet again, he hardened his expression so as not to let even a single chance for that laughter to break through.
“My love, isn’t it a little hot?”
Every word and every gesture propelled him back and forth between heaven and hell so many times, yet he was still left with no control over his actions.
“Is it hot?”
Words of concern for her popped out without any time to stop himself. It was only a slight expression of concern, yet her cheeks blushed ever so pink.
Ah, how can a person be so lovely? How can she be as bright and vivid as fine paint upon a blank, white sheet of paper?
“Yes. Aren’t you hot, my love?”
He had hurriedly asked the attendants to raise the temperature inside the drawing room, but it seemed like they raised it too much. He motioned to really call for a maid this time.
“Huh? That can’t be… How can you not be hot, when my heart is burning so hot because of you, my love?”
Those beautiful words knocked the breath right out of him.
As if a huge bubble had burst, so many questions flashed through his mind, threatening to rise above his throat so that he could ask her anything and everything, even if most of it was useless.
‘Seriously, I’m a lost cause.’
Yeah, he’s totally, absolutely ruined. He had launched himself right into this very predicament where she always had the upper hand, making him the absolute subaltern, no matter the situation.
He clenched one fist tighter, and his teeth audibly gritted together.
He pursed his lips and tried to endure his rising urges as much as he could. But it was all useless.
She continued to give her that same smile—as beautiful as an artist’s masterpiece—completely clueless about his desperate struggle and denial of his desires.
Why on earth was she doing this to him? Just what kind of intentions did she have… that she’s seducing him like this?
Again, Ethan clenched and unclenched one fist so that he could stop himself from making his thoughts apparent.
This seriously could not go on.
He didn’t know why it couldn’t. Just that this feeling was uncomfortable and unfamiliar. So, it felt terrible. He was so jittery and nervous that it felt like he had been dropped at some unknown place without a map to guide him.
He felt like a child who just wanted to go back to where it was familiar. He wanted to go back to the time when her words did not sound so sweet.
“I have to go back home now.”
Yet at the same time, it felt so regrettable to hear this from her.
Even so, he did not stop her from leaving.
Quite honestly, he couldn’t.
He was scared of his own emotions, of this situation that was so out of his own control. That’s why he couldn’t stop her.
He could not put a lid on this unfamiliar feeling that was now overflowing. Barely—just barely—he managed to school his features into a respectable enough expression. He held on to that neutral expression for dear life, as if it was the last thing he’d ever do.
“I won’t be going out to see you off.”
Because he felt that he really would stop her from ever leaving his side.
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