This BL Novel Is Ruined Now - Chapter 232

BLR has been completely translated on Patreon

Chapter 232

Translator: Yonnee

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Fortunately, Reina continued her explanation as if she had noticed Paul’s thoughts.

“Since I know one of your secrets, I’ll share one of mine. I’m not sure if it’s magic or divine power, but I occasionally hear messages that I can’t explain.”

After that, her words continued.

She talked about how these messages had helped her avoid dangers and that the identity of this useful power might even be divine power, which could send her straight to the temple if she were confirmed to have no successorship position in her family, so she didn’t have it checked. All her stories were quite plausible.

Of course, there was one thing she was mistaken about.

‘If she were the first mage to come from a family of poison wielders, it wouldn’t necessarily lead to a life in the temple.’

But from the conversation, it seemed that the life she desired wasn’t one of grandeur and spectacle but of peace.

‘Whether she goes to the temple or becomes the first mage of House Chantra, neither path seems to fit the life she wishes for.’

“Does my story sound absurd?”

“No. It sounds quite believable.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

Reina’s eyes shimmered strangely.

“I didn’t expect you to believe me so quickly. That’s why I haven’t told anyone.”

Paul didn’t ask any further. Just as he had secrets he didn’t want to reveal, perhaps she did too.

“Anyway, that’s why I’ve got to tell you now. It’s impossible to save Ailee.”

“Impossible…”

At the grim conclusion delivered by Reina, Paul looked down at the magic circle he had labored over for months. Then he let out a small, hollow laugh.

“Are you okay?”

No. How could I be okay?

Yes. That should have been his response. But for some reason, contrary to his desperate and earnest feelings, he wasn’t angry.

‘Why?’

His eyelids fluttered open after a long blink, and a myriad of thoughts crossed his mind in that moment.

Did I really want to save Ailee?

Would Ailee’s reincarnation truly be my salvation?

Such thoughts continued endlessly.

However, as those questions repeated more and more, one irrevocable conjecture took hold in his mind.

‘Maybe I just needed something to focus on.’

Maybe he needed something to pour his entire mind into to forcibly overcome the grief and loss that should not be shown or expressed.

“Ailee…”

Yet my love for you was sincere.

Exhaling deeply, Paul gazed at the worried face of the young woman standing before him.

Some would say that people could forget people through other people. Perhaps that saying was true.

“Paul. Listen.”

As she spoke his name, the tangled web of his thoughts burst like bubbles.

“Yeah.”

“I wish you would stop this.”

Her proposal was cautious, perhaps knowing its sensitivity, as Reina bit her lip several times.

“I mean… reincarnation might not solve everything like you think.”

“……”

How could he not know that? He knew, yet he clung to it. It was the only hope he had to cling to.

“I don’t know much either… but I’ve heard that all memories from past lives are erased, and only the scars of the soul remain when reborn.”

Surprisingly, what she said was only mentioned in the original Book of the End, Kalimagero.

Did this mean that the prophecy she spoke of was true?

“Ailee could be born on any continent, in any family, as any race… Even if you manage to hasten the reincarnation cycle, you’d spend your entire life searching for Ailee.”

He knew that already. That’s why Paul did not retort and quietly listened to her.

“But think about it… Is the past life really important to the new Ailee living a new life?”

“……”

An unexpected point.

He had only considered his own perspective, the belief that finding Ailee would solve everything.

Reina had precisely pinpointed that fact.

“Just as you were a significant part of Ailee’s life, her new life might also be an indispensable happiness. But imposing a past life she can’t even remember might… perhaps be a form of violence to her.”

“Violence…?”

“Yes.”

Reina’s eyes were resolute as she responded.

“And really, would that be a good life for you? If all you do is chase after Ailee, your life might become one where you’re blind to the future, while also losing sight of the present.”

“……”

She delivered a message of which not a single word could confidently be declared ‘wrong’.

As a result, his face had fallen.

“Paul.”

Reina gently took his hand, drawing his gaze back up.

“Let’s live in the present together.”

That simple, clear sentence made his eyes spin.

‘No one has ever… said that to me.’

All they ever told him was to forget Ailee, or to consider his remaining family and fulfill his duties. Such cruel advice.

‘But why…’

Why are you telling me this?

“It won’t be a life filled only with happy days, but it will still be quite fun. There will be sad and difficult times too, but afterwards, you might look back and see it was quite a valuable life.”

“Why…”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you saying these things to me?”

His brief question was loaded with countless inquiries.

Reina seemed to understand all he meant, choosing her words carefully. Then, as if giving up on her thoughts, she let out a light laugh and met his eyes.

“Why? Because you’re my only friend.”

This response from Reina showcased a genuine, heartfelt connection, underscoring a deep understanding and a proposal for a new path forward, away from the painful past focused on Ailee’s loss.