This BL Novel Is Ruined Now - Chapter 230

BLR has been completely translated on Patreon

Chapter 230

Translator: Yonnee

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In the end, Paul spat out harsh words that he shouldn’t have.

Realizing what he had just said, Paul clenched his lips shut.

“……”

An awkward silence followed between the two.

Regaining his senses belatedly, Paul pressed his fingertips against his nails and tightly closed his eyes.

‘This is why… Mother said not to show emotions.’

See? This is what happens when you lose your rationality and slash at someone with your tongue.

‘Damn it…’

The love Viscount Ruzest had for his children was known far and wide. Not only that, the seemingly cold Marquis Chantra also deeply cherished her grandchildren.

But if by any chance these words were to reach their ears…

‘Mother would surely…’

Suddenly, he recalled the secret dungeon in the Bohr townhouse. His breath caught in his throat, and his fingers trembled.

‘No… I can’t go back there…’

That place, where he was locked up whenever he failed to harness proper divine power, was like a living nightmare.

Finally, Paul, who had never apologized in his life except to his mother, stepped back.

“…I’m sorry.”

However, what returned to his apology was laughter.

“Pfft.”

Laughing…? Why? What’s funny right now?

Stunned, he slightly opened his mouth and stared at the girl in front of him, who had flopped down onto a couch in the corner.

“You finally seem human.”

“…What?”

Unable to follow the context and dumbfounded, he asked again, and Reina propped her chin on one hand, the elbow of which was on the armrest.

“Yeah. Emotions shouldn’t be bottled up but vented out like that, dear friend. You’ve always swallowed your feelings.”

“……”

It felt like he had been hit hard on the back of his head with a giant hammer. As he gaped, lost in the situation, Reina just shrugged and laughed as if it was all an act—as if she hadn’t been provoking him just moments ago.

“Well, at least you showed me a glimpse of your true self.”

Gradually stretching out on the couch, she murmured with her eyes closed.

“Anyway, I know because I’ve been through it. Keeping it all inside makes you sick, you know? Emotions don’t disappear just because you keep them all bottled up. It’s okay to feel sad when you’re sad.”

“……”

It’s okay to feel sad when you’re sad?

“Why…?”

“What do you mean, ‘why’? Don’t ignore your feelings. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?”

Was it because of her tender voice?

For some reason, his heart, which had always considered the worst scenarios, inexplicably relaxed. A chuckle of relief slipped through his lips.

At that, Reina, who had been sprawled out like melting cheese, suddenly sat up, startled.

“You just laughed, didn’t you?”

“……”

“Right? You laughed? I definitely heard it. You laughed!”

Before Paul could respond, she was already in front of him, examining his face excitedly.

“See, I’m right! Look at your lips, they’ve relaxed!”

She burst into peals of laughter, seemingly delighted, and began jumping around joyously. And faced with her comical yet adorable antics, Paul let out another breathy laugh.

“You laughed again!”

“I did not.”

Though he denied it, the corners of his mouth were already turning upwards.

“Hey, don’t lie. You’re smiling all the way to your ears.”

“That’s just my normal face.”

“Oh really? Was that your voice just now, or was it a fart?”

“It was a fart. What of it?”

Reina’s eyes widened at Paul’s uncharacteristically playful response.

“You’re capable of joking now? Crazy. We’re totally best friends now! Right? Huh? From now on, you have to be on my side no matter what. Got it?”

Eventually, Paul started laughing along with the ecstatic Reina. Honestly, it was fun to see her express her emotions over such trivial matters.

“You too.”

“Huh?”

“You too. You have to be on my side no matter what.”

“Hey! Of course! We’re each other’s best friends now!”

At Reina’s childish declaration, he burst into laughter. Then, as she was bouncing around, she suddenly stopped.

“What? You know, you look really pretty when you smile like that! Smile like this more often. Crying doesn’t suit you.”

Crying?

“When have I ever cried?”

“You always look like you’re about to cry.”

His face fell again at her piercing words. Reina then grabbed his cheeks firmly, her eyes intent, and said,

“No, I mean, it’s okay to cry! Go ahead and cry! Better to cry it all out and then laugh as much as you want! You look prettier when you smile, but when you feel like crying, you should cry.”

It was certainly a ridiculous statement.

But for some reason, he felt a prickling at the corners of his eyes, and even a warmth spreading around them.

Paul clenched his lips and closed his eyes.

It had been two years since his sister died. And during that time, Paul had never once spoken the name ‘Ailee Bohr’.

Not until Reina had casually mentioned ‘Ailee’ just before.

He feared that speaking of her might make him miss her too much, regret not being kinder, and therefore he hid his sorrow even deeper.

Instead, he turned to his mother’s books.

He had tried to hasten Ailee’s reincarnation cycle by transcribing the original ‘Book of the End: Kalimagero’, not the counterfeit ones circulating in the market.

But… such efforts seemed futile as they repeatedly ended in failure.

“Ailee…”

I miss you so much. I wish I had played with you more if I had known this would happen.

It was then, amid the whirlwind of emotions.

“It’s okay. You did your best, Paul.”

Caught off guard by the unexpected words, he abruptly stopped breathing.

“…What?”

With tears still streaming down his face, he widened his eyes. Then Reina ran her hands through her hair and sighed.

“Paul, the magic circle you’re making. It’s not wrong.”