This BL Novel Is Ruined Now - Chapter 178

BLR has been completely translated on Patreon

Chapter 178

Translator: Yonnee

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Then she raised her head again.

“So, until I raised him myself, he simply accepted his ‘difference’ as something ‘wrong’.”

Listening to the calmly flowing story, Reina unconsciously parted her lips in surprise. The information spilled by the first emperor wasn’t quite registering.

“…Other people’s thoughts? And being raised by Your Majesty? I can’t understand…”

As Reina dumbfoundedly questioned, the first emperor smirked.

“Oh dear. Didn’t Ethan tell you?”

Everything divulged until now remained incomprehensible to Reina.

While she looked at Ethan with eyes seeking an explanation, the answer came not from him but from Tria, seated across from her.

“I’ve made a sound barrier around us. Ethan can’t hear what we’re saying.”

Tria looked at the man staring uncomfortably at her, smiling wryly.

“For details, ask Ethan instead.”

Though Reina nodded in a daze, Tria continued to explain.

“Regardless of what happened, he doesn’t hate himself as intensely as before. But he used to despise himself profoundly, this child.”

“……”

“Despite not hating his current circumstances, if given the chance, he still believes that the only right way to live is to have a ‘normal’ life. That’s why he’s hoping that you won’t come to know the whole truth, Reina.”

Listening quietly, Reina clenched her fists on her lap, bowing her head deeply.

“…I feel the same way,” Reina whispered.

As the faint sound flowed like a thread along with the caressing hand, the first emperor leaned towards Reina, gently asking,

“What do you mean by that?”

“I also… I also have many things I haven’t told Ethan. I hope he doesn’t get tainted by my peculiarity.”

Listening to the slowly unfolding story, Tria’s eyes twinkled.

“Oh-ho. So you’re hiding something too?”

Reina, with her lips tightly sealed, nodded slightly with her head bowed.

“Hmm. Then, it must be a big deal if it’s that frightening to reveal, isn’t it?”

“…Yes.”

Due to her lowered head, only the round crown of Reina’s head was visible. Tria, who was peering into the circular dot nestled among the densely woven hair, suddenly burst into laughter.

“Alright. You don’t have to say if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“…Thank you for understanding.”

“Thanks for what? If the world is filled with nothing but the truth, our lives would be even harsher than we can imagine.”

A well-intentioned lie or a white lie. Perhaps what Tria was saying could be those things.

She gazed gently at something beyond Reina’s shoulder, seemingly lost in thought.

“Yeah. Judging right from wrong is a very difficult thing. Depending on what you use as the measure, the results can be very different. Perhaps the truth in our lives is nothing but an illusion.”

As she spoke with a comfortable voice, conveying words like reading a fairy tale to a child, her face expressed unspoken emotions—regret, longing, resignation.

“But, Reina.”

After glancing into the air for a moment, Tria smiled and locked eyes with her.

“When you finally reveal the secret you’re tightly holding on to, the reaction may not be as dramatic as you fear, you know?”

“……”

“Of course, it could also flow in other unforeseen, worst directions.”

As Tria made a small gesture, a floating teacup settled into her hand. Taking a sip, the first emperor chuckled softly.

“But one thing is certain—you have to learn how to rely on others, especially those like you who try to bear everything alone.”

The insightful remark pierced through, causing Reina’s irises to shake finely.

Whether it was a lack of trust in others, a fear that one’s own burdens would make things difficult for others, or an attempt to preemptively block the emotional scars from negative reactions.

The underlying psychology of taking all burdens upon oneself varied. And among those various reasons, it was unknown which one was the most fundamental.

Regardless of the cause, relying on others was extremely difficult. It was an enduring survival strategy from Han Jae-hee’s distant past, and now, it has become Reina’s driving force.

“We’ve known each other for just about an hour… How did you know?”

As the question dropped, Tria laughed coolly.

“I’ve been observing humans for over fifteen centuries. I may not empathize, but at least I can understand.”

“Then, in Your Majesty’s eyes, is my way… wrong?”

Sharing only moments of joy with others and shouldering hardships alone. Was this way of life correct?

Lately, this question had been tormenting her incessantly.

“There’s nothing wrong.”

Tria gazed at the young human trying to hide the tears threatening to spill, hiding them with warmth in her eyes.

“Everyone is just different.”

It was the first time she fully understood her own feelings after becoming aware of her past lives.

Tears welled up in her eyes at Tria’s words, and at that moment.

Sensing the slightly sinking atmosphere, Tria lightly clicked her tongue and patted Reina on the right side.