The Male Lead’s Sickly Aide is My Type - Chapter 103.2

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Chapter 103.2

After saving him during the Ashite Flower Festival, she’d put the thought out of her mind entirely. It wasn’t until she saw him collapse during the witch trial that the possibility resurfaced. After the examination, the physician’s grave expression confirmed her suspicions.

“The doctor told me during the witch trial. He specializes in rare diseases, having worked at the Magic Research Institute. I knew then what you were suffering from. I knew… that you didn’t have long.”

“….”

Carinne looked up at him.

Archen stared back, his face blank. Did he feel betrayed? It was understandable if he did. She stared at the ground, fidgeting with her fingers.

“I’m sorry for deceiving you.”

“….”

Archen didn’t accept her apology, but he didn’t get angry either. He lowered his chin and ran a hand through his hair. His blue eyes, usually so calm, were now filled with confusion.

“Why…why did you pretend not to know?”

His voice was even, but Carinne sensed the turmoil beneath. Hoping he’d understand, she poured out her heart.

“We had just…confessed our feelings for each other. I didn’t want to ruin that. I didn’t want to acknowledge something that could tear us apart. As if… as if by not speaking it aloud, it wouldn’t be real.”

To be precise, she hadn’t known how or when to broach the subject. After hearing the doctor’s words, she’d wanted to rush to Archen, to confront him, to demand why he shouldered such a burden alone. Didn’t he know that hiding his suffering and worrying others wasn’t the answer?

But it wasn’t that simple.

She couldn’t bring herself to utter the devastating truth. He’d hidden it because he didn’t want her to worry. How much more painful would it be for him to learn that she knew all along?

He had already endured so much. He needed peace and comfort, not another blow. She couldn’t bear to inflict that pain, so she decided it wasn’t the right time. She would wait until things settled down, until they returned to some semblance of normalcy.

Then, she would find the right moment to tell him she knew.

That had been her plan… but it was a flawed plan.

The right moment never came. One crisis followed another, leaving no room to breathe. Carinne felt helplessly swept along by the relentless tide of time.

Countless thoughts plagued her. How should she reveal that she knew his secret? Should she hint at it subtly, or should she be direct? But what if, by telling him, she drove him further into himself? Why would he withdraw, if she was being honest?

Carinne had initially thought the same thing. It was only natural for him to be tormented by the guilt of his deception.

She believed it would be best for him to know the truth quickly. However, upon further reflection, while the guilt of her dishonesty might be fleeting, the guilt of not confessing sooner would last a lifetime.

Though she might suffer now, if he truly saw her as a serious partner, she would eventually tell him the truth. Then, he could be free of his burden. Conversely, if she initiated the conversation, his already fragile self-esteem might lead him down a destructive path of self-recrimination.

The thought of him spiraling into self-loathing after the truth was revealed, starting with ‘You knew all along. I should have told you, ‘progressing to ‘I’m dishonest,’ and culminating in ‘I’m not worthy of you’ was unbearable.

Therefore, Carinne made a seemingly irrational decision, to pretend she didn’t know about his terminal illness. This didn’t mean she would abandon him; she would search for a cure while waiting for him to confide in her.

Or, if she found a cure, she would reveal her knowledge then.

“I waited for you to tell me, yet also prayed I’d never have to hear it. I wished I was wrong. I hoped it was all a misunderstanding, that we’d live a long and healthy life together and someday look back on this and laugh.”

“….”

Archen repeatedly ran a withered hand through his hair, then covered his face, murmuring.

“Do you not hate me?”

“Why would I hate you? I’m more worried that you might hate me.”

She meant it.

He was the one who deserved an apology. Even if she hadn’t told him for his own sake, he had still suffered. In truth, Carinne knew if someone accused her of avoiding the painful aftermath, she would have no defense. She was the one who had turned away from reality, not him.

Yet, he still carried the weight of guilt. His initially steady voice cracked, becoming ragged.

“Are you truly alright? I said a year and a half, but that’s merely how long I’ll cling to life. The time I have left to move about like this is likely only a few months.”

“About that…”

She had something she wanted to discuss regarding precisely that.