The Gap Between You and Me - Chapter 86
Lionelli followed Edwin, who led the way. The sound of their footsteps echoed through the empty hallway.
“Are there any problems?”
Lionelli, who was watching Edwin, asked cautiously. Edwin turned his head to look at her.
“Why do you ask that?”
“Forgive me. Because your expression isn’t that bright.”
This was not the first time Kustan had invaded Brimdel.
The people of Kustan, who lived in the barren land, envied the people of Brimdel for their rich land, and attempted invasions to take away their land several times. But maybe it was because of Brimdel’s military strength, which was stronger than expected. Each attempt failed. The Kustan army had to withdraw in tears.
But finally, the Kustan army crossed the border. They won the battle against Brimdel’s army, captured the castle, and even cut the heads of the king and his family.
It was something that had been desired for hundreds of years. They finally did what their ancestors couldn’t do. It was a huge achievement to ignore.
But Edwin’s reaction was lukewarm. She even wondered if he’d be happier if the garbage he threw inadvertently went into the trash can.
“There were no problems. Dame can stop and rest too.”
There were many things that were unclear, but Lionelli was very sensitive to the military rank. She had no intention to speak carelessly to a superior. She bowed politely to him and went on her way.
* * *
Edwin, who roughly finished the things he had to deal with immediately, headed straight to the room given to him. The soldiers guarding the door recognized him and corrected their posture and saluted him.
Respectful eyes. Admiring face. Edwin, who made what was considered impossible possible, was already being praised as a great hero among the Kustan soldiers. He couldn’t have not felt their gaze, but he completely ignored them and entered the room without a word.
It was dark inside the room. They didn’t know when Edwin would come, so it seemed that they hadn’t properly prepared for him yet. The soldiers who followed him suggested a lamp to light up the darkness. But he gestured that it was enough and then dismissed them.
Click. The door closed behind his back. The light and sound were blocked. Edwin stood alone behind the door and looked around silently.
The darkness was so thick that he could only tell the outlines of the shapes.
A heavy silence that made it seem like he could hear even his breathing in detail.
Even though there was only a door between the spaces, it contrasted with the noisy outside. It was as if he had entered a very different space. He felt completely cut off from the world and from everyone except himself.
Edwin leaned his back against the door. Then, slowly collapsing, he sat down.
The fatigue, which he hadn’t noticed before, came all at once. He lowered his head. Both physically and mentally, he was very exhausted.
‘If only I could stop everything as it is now.’
Edwin clenched his fists. He wanted to close his eyes and fell asleep, never waking up. He wished to never face this world again, that was only full of suffering.
If he can’t turn back time, he’d rather just have it stop like this.
He earnestly prayed to God every night, but his wish did not come true. After staying up all night when he opened his eyes, morning came without fail. He just went through the nightmare-like day again, like he was running around in circles.
The screams of people in terror echoed in his ears. The flames that soared to devour everything shimmered in front of his eyes. The capital was burned, the castle collapsed, and countless people lost their lives in the war.
Edwin inhaled and exhaled slowly with a grim face. This place he once defended at all costs. The place those who died under the sword he wielded, gave their life to defend. It was destroyed today under his direction.
Irony. There could be no other word that accurately describes his situation.
Edwin buried his face in his hands. The foul smell of blood stung his nostrils. It was a mark of what he had accomplished. It was also the weight of his sins. His throat moved. No matter how many times and thoroughly he washed his body, he would never be able to completely get rid of this smell.
He laughed at himself. It couldn’t be more fortunate that Herrietta couldn’t see him like this. She, who has a clear and pure soul, always looked at him and compared him to a beautiful star floating in the sky. While it was none other than her that shone more brilliantly than anyone else. But she seldom noticed it.
Before long, Edwin pulled something out of his arms. In his hand was a silver locket necklace with a long chain. He looked down at it for a long time with longing eyes.
The heart he wanted to hand over, but couldn’t hand it to the end.
Edwin gritted his teeth.
He always said that he would protect her, but in the end, he couldn’t keep the promise.
The day Edwin was heading to Bangola. Herrietta shed tears in front of him. As she was held in his arms, she cried sadly until she was out of breath. At the time, he didn’t know the reason for her tears. He couldn’t guess how she felt when she said goodbye to him.
His heart felt crushed. Nothing’s going to change after he returns from Bangola. There would be a long time ahead of him and her. They could be together forever. He believed so.
He never really imagined that it would be his last day with her.
‘If only I had been a little more selfish. If only I had had a little more courage.’
Edwin grabbed the locket from the necklace. The desire and longing for another future that did not happen grew more and more as each day passed. And in line with that, he hated the reality he faced more and more.
‘Ah. That Mackenzie family bitch? I know very well where she is now.’
After returning to Philioche and realizing that Herrietta was gone. He went to see Shawn and he said so.
‘You’ve probably heard of the Princess who went on her way to marry a foolish prince from a neighboring country not too long ago, right?’
‘Then, did you know that the Princess had brown hair and auburn eyes?’
His heart sank when he listened to Shawn’s words. Edwin immediately rode madly to the border. And he followed the trail he found near the border into a forest.
And there he…….
Edwin stopped his flashbacks. The weight of the locket in his hand felt heavier than ever.
After that, Edwin did not return to Philioche. Instead, he headed for Duchy Rowani. He couldn’t think rationally. As the saying goes, an eye for an eye. That was all he could think. Shawn, who killed Herrietta, should die the same way.
But the moment Shawn’s breath stopped, struggling in pain, what Edwin felt was not satisfaction, but emptiness. Even with the corpse cooling down with a miserable face in front of him, even with the death of his enemy, Edwin was not satisfied at all.
‘Is this the end?’
Frustrated by the revenge that ended so easily and quickly, he soon realized another fact. That the weight of life given to each person is never the same. Just as everyone has their own life, the value of that life is also different.
The price of Herrietta’s life. The responsibility for her death. The price for it.
His mind, which had been boiling hot, cooled down. She was a woman so precious that even if he gave everything in the world, it would not be enough. What can compensate for her death? What will he be able to fill this void with?
In time, Edwin’s gaze, sharp as a hunting falcon, shifted to things that Shawn might have treasured in his lifetime. The murderous energy directed towards the vague object came out so intensely that it was uncontrollable.
That was the beginning.
Edwin opened his hand holding the locket and looked down at his palm. There were dark red blood stains on the locket, which was tinged with soft silver. His face twisted slightly when he saw that.
He already knew without anyone having to tell him. That he is becoming a monster.
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