The Gap Between You and Me - Chapter 146

Herietta tilted her head, finding it strange. Then, as something had popped into her head, she opened her mouth.

“Ah, Edwin. By the way, listen. Hugo, that troublemaker. I’ve obviously warned him not to come into my room ……”

Herietta talked about what had happened with a warm face. As always, with exaggerated gestures and ridiculously imitating voices.

Edwin sat by the window and watched Herietta in silence.

It was a warm spring-like day. Outside the window, birds chirped like they were singing, and white sunlight was pouring down from behind. In a space that seemed empty yet full, she, who could be called the everything in his world, was standing very close to him.

Everything was harmonious and peaceful.

It was a perfect, beautiful moment without any flaws.

“This is already the third time, the third time. No matter how hard I scolded him, it seems like it only works for that time…….”

Herietta, who was talking with a pouty face, looked at Edwin and blurred her words. Her eyes widened.

“Are you…… crying now?”

Herietta asked in surprise.

“No, why all of a sudden…… ?”

“I’m happy.”

Edwin struggled through his trembling breath.

“Miss Herietta. I’m just so…… so happy…….”

At least, he had a secret he couldn’t tell Herietta. The first time Edwin took longo was after crossing the border and arriving in Kustan. Therefore, there was no way that she, who got separated from him much earlier, could know that he took that drug.

So this is just an illusion. It’s just a dream, like a mirage, it’s not real.

I love you.

His feelings, which he couldn’t convey to her even in his dreams, hovered in his mouth and then dispersed like fog.

Edwin dropped his head helplessly. Hot tears streamed down his cheeks and fell to the floor.

* * *

It was still early morning when he opened his eyes. A world in a dim light. A quiet and desolate landscape, not much different from before he closed his eyes, was spread out in front of his eyes.

Edwin, who had been lying still for a while, sat up slowly. The thin blanket that was covering him slipped down and the cool morning air caressed his exposed skin.

Edwin, who was staring into the distance with unfocused cloudy eyes, soon lowered his head powerlessly and buried his face in his hands. Two wet cheeks touched his cold palms.

As expected, it was a dream.

Edwin calmly accepted that fact and took a slow, deep breath.

How many times is this really? After Herietta died, he dreamed of being with her every day. To go back to those days when they stood by each other’s side in Philioche, a peaceful and small rural town.

At first, he even appreciated that. He thought he would never see her again, and he was delighted that he could meet her even in his dreams. Despite it being an illusion of his own making. There were times when he took strong sleeping pills to lengthen that time.

But that’s only for a moment.

No matter how desperate he was, the time given to him was always limited. After all the sand in the hourglass had flowed, he had to return to reality whether he liked it or not.

When he opened his eyes, the illusion built on lies was shattered. And he was alone again. Knowing how beautiful and sweet the world would be when they were together, the world he faced alone was more empty and lonely than he could have imagined.

There are many people in this world, but there was no one in Edwin’s life.

They said that time heals everything, but Edwin’s life only became more impoverished as time passed.

There was no salvation. There was no hope.

Even if he struggled hard, there was only endless pain and terrible loneliness in front of him.

After realizing that fact, Edwin couldn’t stand it any longer. He had already reached the limits of what he could endure long ago. He was so exhausted that it could not be simply expressed as being tired.

‘It won’t miss.’

It reminded him of a woman who glared at him so fiercely and boasted.

‘I don’t know about anyone else, but never as much as you.’

The woman of Velicia who kept reminding him of the dead Herietta, and that made him suffer all the more.

The dead could not come back alive. So all of this was just a foolish delusion born of his futile longing and hopeless hope.

Mistakes of the past, repeated many times. Through those mistakes, Edwin compromised with reality. No matter how much he wished and hoped, Herietta could not come back to him. So now he has only one option left.

It’s time to finish everything.

Edwin got up. Changing his clothes and packing up the things he needed, he slowly began to prepare for the future.

‘Black Knight from the west. What’s your name?’

He remembered Bernard, who confidently asked about his identity without being intimidated in the slightest, even though he was in an inferior situation.

‘…… The commander of Kustan doesn’t even know how to be a basic knight.’

A man with strong charisma who can subdue opponents in an instant by slightly lowering his voice even though he hadn’t raised his voice.

He knew he was looking at Bernard with a distorted point of view. He also knew that his mindset was wrong. He had no reason to assume that a foreign prince, who had never met Herietta, should be responsible for her death. Besides, even if he knew it, Bernard, he too might have been just a victim of a political game.

But.

Edwin laughed dejectedly.

Now, what is the point of judging right and wrong? It had been a long time since his fury that spread like mad burned all reason that was already imprinted in him. He has already come too far to look at the situation through the eyes of a third party and argue about right or wrong.

There was no way back, no place to return.

Edwin took the sword that had been set in the corner. His open wound throbbed, but he didn’t care. The pain on the outside and the pain on the inside would all end forever.

Edwin, having finished all his preparations, threw a black cloak over his shoulders. Then he walked through the barracks door and went outside.

Far away, over the horizon, he could see the sun rising. It was probably the last sunrise he would see in this life.

The sky is slowly turning red. Edwin, who was staring at the sky in silence, took a step towards the end that was soon to come.

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