My Past Life is Riddled With Many Sins - Chapter 115
‘Attacking someone out of nowhere with magic, even as a joke?’
Regina sighed inside. Where had he picked up such mischievous habits?
“Well, Your Majesty… I really like you. Please go out with me.”
He murmured, all too relaxed under her gentle head pats. He melted into her touch as if intoxicated, despite not having touched a drop of alcohol. Watching him behave so dreamily, Regina decided to try a bit of reverse psychology.
“Prince Iskanda, I understand your… preferences, but perhaps you could tone down your words a little. It’s hard to take in.”
“Please respect my preferences.”
A flat refusal. She pressed her fingers against her temple in exasperation.
‘How am I supposed to respect a preference that makes me the victim?’
She reconsidered trying to reason with him.
After all, there’s an old saying about saints: one rebuked a man for urinating by the roadside to lead him to repentance. But another saint walked past someone doing the same act in the middle of the road. When asked why he didn’t scold the latter, the saint replied, “Those with even a shred of shame can be guided to change. Those without shame cannot be helped.”
Darien was clearly the latter. Avoiding him was the better strategy.
‘Prince Iskanda, it was tough dealing with you—let’s not meet again.’
You’re too much for me to handle. Go explore the wide world without me.
Regina ruffled his hair and withdrew her hand, standing up from the bed.
“Let’s head back now.”
“So soon?”
“We’re still students, you know. Time to return to our academy life, Senior.”
“Well, if that’s what you say, Junior.”
Darien stood and dusted himself off. To return to the training site, she needed his teleportation magic—she had no idea where they even were.
‘We need to regroup with the others before dawn and pretend nothing happened.’
But as her thoughts wandered, Valen’s face surfaced in her mind. She recalled how, even as she was being consumed by demon poison, he hadn’t helped her himself. Instead, he had told Fathom to fetch Darien. Despite her suffering, he hadn’t lifted a finger.
Her chest ached with a dull throb. She let out a bitter chuckle and muttered.
“So, he really hates me that much?”
“What do you mean?”
“Friedrich, I mean. He must have hated me deeply. Even in that situation, he refused to help and asked Fathom to bring you.”
Regina’s voice trailed off as painful thoughts flooded her. Friedrich, who would have helped a stranger in need or even the world’s worst villains if they had asked, had left her to suffer. His hatred for her must be so deep that she couldn’t even guess it.
Darien studied her in silence before speaking.
“Something felt off—your memories must be incomplete.”
Regina was about to ask him.
“Even if he tried, Grand Duke Eldenberg wouldn’t be able to do anything.”
“What do you mean…?”
“Your Majesty touched Grand Duke Idenberg, someone destined to become a priest, and angered God. That’s why purification rituals no longer work on you. If sleeping with Grand Duke Eldenberg could lift the demon poison, wouldn’t that go against God’s will?”
The meaning of his words struck Regina like a bolt of lightning, making her eyes widen in disbelief. Darien, gazing down at her trembling lashes, delivered his final, merciless truth.
“You may be with anyone in the world, but never with Friedrich Eldenberg.”
Stiff with shock, Regina tried to counter.
“But that was from a past life. It doesn’t mean the same holds true now—”
“But your condition hasn’t changed, even in this life. That’s proof that God is still angry with you.”
Darien refuted her simply. He gave an argument that even a child could understand.
“No matter how powerful Valen’s divine powers are in this life, he’ll never be able to save you. That is the punishment laid upon both Your Majesty and him.”
* * *
On the ride back to the academy after the grueling training exercise, Regina replayed Darien’s words in her mind.
She could be with anyone in the world and slept with them to ward off the demon poison—anyone except Valen. Sleeping with him would be futile.
Her head throbbed as the shock had not subsided.
‘Did it really need to go that far?’
It felt excessive, though she knew she wasn’t in a position to complain about divine retribution. Still, being punished in this life for a mistake made in the previous one… What kind of God holds such a petty grudge…
‘Better stop there—don’t want to incur even more divine wrath.’
She needed to push blasphemous thoughts of the god Etoz out of her mind and instead focused on Valen.
She could be with anyone—but not him. The idea stirred something strange in her heart, a mix of unease and bittersweet acceptance. Her chest felt tight, as though it fluttered and stilled all at once.
‘At least the world isn’t falling apart because of it, right?’
She didn’t cry, only a quiet sense of numbness, as if she was coming to terms with something inevitable. So that’s how it is.
Valen had always been someone from a world separate from hers, someone untouchable. She had foolishly reached for what wasn’t meant to be hers in a previous life, blinded by selfish desire.
In a way, the relief was almost liberating. With the answer now so definitive, she no longer needed to wrestle with uncertainties or consider impossible possibilities. There was no ‘what if.’
‘It wasn’t hatred that made him leave me to suffer.’
In the end, the reason Valen didn’t touch her was because it wouldn’t work anyway. That fact alone was enough for Regina. It gave her a sliver of comfort. The faint belief that he didn’t despise or loathe her as much as she had feared. Whether or not that was the truth.
As she stared blankly out the carriage window, lost in her thoughts, a loud, irritating voice shattered the moment.
“Haha! Bow before me, everyone!”
Fathom’s triumphant declaration made Regina’s brow furrow. His bragging had been non-stop ever since last night.
Their camp site had earned decent praise during the evaluation and secured them first place. But if she was being honest, that outcome was hardly a surprise.
It was the obvious result, after all.
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