Killing Your Sweet Breath - Chapter 20
Chapter 10.2
“I should abandon my family’s revenge and run away with you, is that what you mean?”
“The duke will kill the emperor with or without you, my lady.”
“Yes, I suppose that’s true. I don’t think he’d fail just because I’m not here. So, if I leave, what then? Do you expect me to marry you?”
Winter’s gaze grew icy cold. Ian squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.
“I only wish for you to step away from any further misery, my lady. I have no such presumptuous ideas.”
“Yes, of course. That’s the kind of person you are. Always upright and sincere.”
Ian became Winter’s mentor when he turned eighteen, the year he was knighted.
He met his first love later than most when he was called to teach the eldest daughter of House Ruhen, Winter, who insisted on learning swordsmanship.
But he had never once voiced those feelings.
And even if Winter had never been engaged, it would have remained the same. He cherished her secretly and tried to treat her as a mentor should.
But love is not something that can be hidden.
Every time he saw her, his ears would burn, and if he accidentally touched her soft skin as they sparred, he would stammer in response to her questions for the rest of the day. It was foolish to think Winter wouldn’t notice.
“I don’t doubt your sincerity. However—“
“My lady…”
“—do you still see me as the delicate young lady of Ruhen? Do you still think of me as a fragile woman who should never suffer any pain?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“My father was beheaded under the false accusation of treason, while my mother was covered in his blood. She chose to starve herself to death in the dungeon of Niello. There’s no need to mention the burning of Castle Ruhen… and yet, you still see me as if I’m stuck there.”
“That is not what I meant. I just…”
In Ian’s eyes, Winter looked like the coldest, most maddest person in the world now.
Her voice once sounded like a bird chirping in the morning, but was now deadly calm as she chastised him.
Even so, Ian reached out to her, hoping that the sorrow and hatred driving Winter mad would ease, even if just a little.
But his hand froze in mid-air, unable to reach her.
Winter rose from the sofa and turned around. She untied the knot of her robe, letting the silk garment slip down her arms and fall to the floor.
Ian couldn’t bear to watch and lowered his head. He didn’t even have time to consider why she was behaving this way—it was his reflexes kicking in.
“Ian. Look at me.”
Ian took a deep breath and slowly lifted his head. In the dark evening light, he could just make out Winter’s silhouette, and it was heartbreaking.
“The long scar starting from my right shoulder to my left hip is from a knight I encountered while fleeing Ruhen. The burn in the middle of my back is from the man who found me buried beneath the snowfields of Ruhen and taught me to kill. He branded me in a fit of rage, so I killed him that same day and came to the capital to become an assassin. And the scar across my calf is from failing to properly assassinate my third target. And…”
“That’s enough. I’m sorry. Please, stop… please.”
Winter glanced back at Ian over her shoulder.
This man was about twice her size and was currently sitting with his head buried in his hands.
Winter picked up her robe from the floor and tied it back on.
“Don’t ever try to sway me with kind words again. If you’re going to leave, do it alone. I have no intention of turning away from my revenge now.”
Her closed-off tone didn’t even allow Ian to shed a tear as he straightened from his seat.
“If it ever becomes too much for you to bear, you can come get me anytime, my lady.”
The cold wind blowing in from the window lingered where he just stood only seconds ago.
Left alone once again, Winter closed her eyes against the cold breeze.
Instead of feeling offended by Ian’s suggestion, she felt pity for the man who still harbored pure feelings from their innocent past.
Winter threw an arm over her face and laid back down, pulling the blanket up to her chest. She forced her eyes shut, even as sleep refused to take her.
Tap, tap.
In the silent night, she could hear the slow sound of raindrops falling. Winter tried to calm her troubled mind as she listened to the pattering against the window.
But her efforts didn’t last long.
Her sharp ears picked up the sound of footsteps starting from a distance. Step, step. They didn’t stop until they were right outside her door.
“I’m coming in.”
Van Helgram was the only person in the estate who could open her door without knocking first.
Winter ran a hand across her face and slowly sat up. The rustling sound of bedsheets and the thudding of footsteps filled the room. Even those sounds made her dizzy.
“I thought I’d stop by since you didn’t seem to be in a good mood.”
Winter frowned. Did he already know that Ian had visited her room?
“Not really. Nothing’s wrong.”
Winter clarified, making Van tilt his head and flash her a smirk. His confident expression seemed to say she didn’t need to hide anything.
“Is that so? Then allow me to rephrase that.”
Somehow, Van had gotten closer without her noticing. He sat at the edge of the bed, just like on the day Winter first woke up in this estate.
“I stopped by because I’m not in a good mood.”
Winter had nothing more to say, so she kept her mouth shut. Van gently swept her hair over her shoulder, a kind expression on his face.
A slight shiver ran through her as his cold hand slid over the back of her neck.
“Your hand is cold. Why don’t you go back to your room and rest? Your body must still be weak.”
“Winter.”
Ignoring Winter’s words completely, Van’s fingers drifted away from her hair and towards her hand. His calloused hand was still cold as he gripped it firmly.
“I’ve made myself clear. I won’t let you be taken from me.”
The rain suddenly grew heavier, no longer creating the weak tapping sound of raindrops hitting the glass window. Lightning flashed, briefly casting the room in a light glow.