It’s Not Night - Chapter 108.2

Whenever she was with Dustin, Andra could never be relieved of her anxiety for a moment. Each and every time, she got so worried that people would find out about this ridiculous relationship, and so her mind could never be at ease. All other emotions were negative. That was true, because she would always fight once whenever she met Dustin.

Andra and Dustin’s relationship could be described in one simple word.

Unstable.

How could she see this relationship between lovers when she didn’t have a single good feeling about it. She couldn’t even call him a friend.

“I haven’t had an easy day since I met you, how can we look like lovers? We are not lovers— We can never be lovers.”

“…Don’t say that.”

“Then? What am I supposed to say? Can you define what we have?”

Dustin lost his words when Andra asked that. It may be because he too found it difficult to define what their relationship was.

“Look at that. You can’t even say it yourself. And yet you want to tell people we’re lovers? Regardless of what you say, will people really believe you?”

“I’ll make them believe. If I try harder…”

“In terms of relationships, if it’s something that can be resolved with only one person working hard, everything would be fine now.”

Andra responded coldly. Looking at Andra, Dustin felt that his heart was being hacked to pieces again. Was it his ignorant delusion that he thought she had accepted him even a little bit?

It was overshadowed the day she brought him to her room when he was in the rain, but it turned out she still pushed him away, refusing to accept him.

“Of course, in our relationship, I am also at fault… I know very well that other factors have made it this way.”

“But why…”

“I told you. I haven’t forgiven you yet.”

“…….”

“Not only do I not forgive you, but I still don’t trust you. I can’t understand or accept the feelings you have for me. In my eyes, it’s best to try to make sure our relationship doesn’t deteriorate further from here. For now, it’s like that for me.”

Every single word shattered his heart further. Dustin stood tall, staring intently at Andra.

It’s really strange. Whenever he stood in front of Andra, why was it that he felt so inferior, like mere grass growing on the side of the road? Even this large body was of no use. It had been so shabbily small to her for so long.

“Andra, I…”

“Dustin Airak. You seem to want me to be with you, but I do not. We cannot be lovers. You should know that.”

Andra spoke coldly to Dustin, whose complexion darkened as if he would be abandoned at any moment. Actually, this was something she had been thinking about ever since she started sleeping with him again. That she could not be his lover. She thought it was something she had to make sure of at least once before he got greedy.

They had too many bad feelings and memories accumulated with each other that it’s impossible to forget the past and become lovers. Even if Andra accepted Dustin, she wouldn’t be able to accept the things that often come to her mind. She would constantly doubt and push away Dustin’s feelings, and Dustin would grow tired of Andra’s torture of hope.

Unstable relationships could never last long. They would just ruin each other.

So when Dustin was secretly starting to want more, it was necessary for her to say it clearly at this point and move on.

That’s the way for each other, and it was also the way to keep this relationship for a long time. Even if Dustin were to get tired of her and leave her later after all the magic was dispelled, it would be easy to go back to normal since they weren’t even close enough to be more than that. Dustin would go down his own path, and Andra would go down her own path.

In the end, they both had nothing to lose with each other.

Andra would not be hurt by Dustin.

“I think I need to say this clearly and move on.”

Andra said again, driving her point firmly. Because of this, Dustin wanted to cover his ears right away. That was what she wanted to say: Don’t cross the line. I won’t be able to give you what you want. It was the first time that a confident tone had felt so cruel.

“So, let’s not repeat this issue again. We’re okay as it is. We are not lovers.”

Andra’s reply made Dustin realize that he had returned to reality. He thought that if he tried harder, if he repented for all of his wrongdoings, his relationship with her might become better. But in the end, it was just a useless idealistic thought.

He didn’t know that Andra was preparing to cut him off like this.

“And, if you follow the rules properly, I will try to cooperate with you as much as possible…”

Dustin pulled Andra into his arms. The bewildered Andra struggled and tried to get out of his embrace, but Dustin hugged her tight. Eventually, Andra gave up on escaping and instead reached out and patted his back with her arm.

Yes, she could comfort him for now. Whether his current feelings are sincere or because of the magic, this was no different from being dumped coldly by the person he liked, so there’s no way he’d feel good about it.

“Okay.”

“…Thank you for understanding.”

In fact, Andra thought it was a relief that Dustin’s reaction to her was milder than expected. What she just said to him was, frankly, that she couldn’t date him, so it was no different than saying that he should take care of his own feelings. Looking back on his personality, it was natural for him to go on a rampage once.

As she caressed the man’s broad back, Dustin suddenly raised his head and met her gaze. Andra hesitated at the unsteady, pale green eyes.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Huh? Uh…”

It’s okay, because I don’t feel anything… With Andra’s permission, Dustin quickly supported Andra’s back of the head and pressed his lips against hers. He opened the unopened gap and went in and stirred it all over the place.

Dustin looked down at her as she accepted his kiss. At the same time, he felt that something deep inside him was being released.

As expected, he could not give up on her.

Even if she didn’t want that.