We’re in a Contract Marriage, But I’ve Imprinted - Chapter 210

“Even though I understand the pain of imprinting more than anyone else, right now, I’m ignoring Ian’s pain. I’m angry, and I don’t want to forgive him… But if I don’t forgive him, it feels like I’m denying the suffering and pain I went through. It makes my heart ache so much.”

“Mel…”

“I was the one who brought up words similar to forgiveness to Ian, but I’m not keeping any promises. I’m turning my back on everything, including myself… But I just can’t find the courage, Lucia.”

Yes. Even though I had spoken convincingly so far, I was a coward, covering my ears and shutting my eyes. It would be easier if I stayed that way, but why am I still stumbling around carrying this heavy stone?

I’ve gained magic as a wizard, but my heart is still stuck in that same place, playing it safe, just like when I lived in the Duke’s annex.

I’m scared, afraid. I’m sad and frustrated. That’s why I can’t decide anything, avoiding everything, and I hate myself for it. The weakness I’ve nurtured for so long seems to be creeping up again.

In the end, even if the situation and the environment change, nothing changes unless I change myself. I’ve come to realize that painfully.

But I couldn’t delay it any longer. For Adella, and for myself, before I destroy myself further, I had to make a decision.

1. Another word for forgiveness is liberation

A few days after speaking with Lucia, Melissa arrived at the Duchy and went to Diers first. Despite making all the decisions, she was still filled with hesitant conflict, as if a small wall remained in her heart.

What should she say when she meets him? If she forgives him, what happens next? No, before that, she needed to take the elixir and fix the pheromone gland, but wouldn’t that bring the imprint back? If that happens, what will happen to her?

Still carrying that confusion, she arrived at Diers’s room. But the child wasn’t there. Wondering if he was outside, she was about to move when the door suddenly opened. Gasping for air, the child entered.

The child seemed to be in a great mood, smiling widely. He hadn’t noticed her yet and was walking somewhere, but something felt off.

“…Dia?”

Unconsciously, the voice slipped out, and Diers jumped in surprise, turning his head. As soon as he recognized her, he beamed and came closer.

But the way he walked was strange. Limping, the child’s strange behavior reminded her of someone, and Melissa froze.

“Mom!”

His voice was now clearer as he called out happily, but Melissa couldn’t bring herself to smile in return. The child was approaching her in an awkward posture, yet he still looked pleased.

“Mom! I look like Dad!”

“….”

“Hehe! I’m like Dad….”

It felt like someone had struck her head hard. The heavy sensation slowly spread throughout her body. Her body trembled involuntarily, and, overwhelmed by emotion, she could no longer hold back the tears.

“Uuhh… Huh…”

Overcome with grief and guilt, she collapsed to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably. Her emotions poured out as she slammed her hands onto the floor and her chest, feeling her hands redden with each hit.

“Uwaahh!”

The sudden outburst of tears moved Diers as well, and he too sank to the floor, bursting into tears. At the sound of the child’s crying, Melissa rushed over and hugged him. They held each other so tightly that their hearts seemed to beat in unison.

As she gently stroked his back, she spoke.

“I’m sorry, Dia. Mom is sorry…”

“Uwaah, Mom!”

“I’m so sorry. It’s all my fault.”

How much more pain must she cause them before she realized? Her own suffering was so overwhelming that she neglected the children who had been hurting with her. All the love and care she thought she showed now felt like empty gestures.

A person stung by a bee would naturally flinch at the sight of similar insects. What she had thought was a small pain actually left a lasting sting, one that was sharp and deep. But she didn’t realize that it had affected her so much.

Though she thought it was nothing, that pain still lingered in her mind. Melissa had convinced herself that it didn’t matter, but it clearly did.

While she was holding Diers and crying, the door suddenly swung open roughly. Ian entered in a hurry, his face filled with shock. When he saw her, he froze for a moment before rushing toward them. His face was distorted from the burns and he was limping.

Up close, he looked unrecognizable, so drastically different from the man she once knew. How could she have thought that it didn’t matter? How could she have been so blind to his pain, and her own foolishness? The grief was too much to bear, and she cried aloud.

“Uuhh, waah…”

“Mel, why…?”

“Uuaaah!”

“Oh, Dia.”

He hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to do, then awkwardly pulled both of them into his arms, gently patting their backs to comfort them.

“Shh, don’t cry. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be alright.”

The sight of the person in the most pain trying to console others might have seemed odd to anyone watching, but if they saw his expression up close, they might have understood the deeper meaning.

Ian couldn’t contain his happiness that Melissa had returned, but in front of the two sobbing figures, he couldn’t show it. He just couldn’t.

For a long time, Melissa and Diers cried, and Ian continued to comfort them until they finally calmed down.

* * *

“Here’s some warm tea. Please have some.”

“…Thank you.”

Ian couldn’t take his eyes off her as she held the cup, her face still swollen. How long had it been since he last saw her? He hadn’t seen her under such difficult circumstances, and it had been bothering him ever since.

“This is the strawberry you like. Since it’s the first harvest, it’s very fresh and sweet. Please try it.”

Without even glancing at his own plate, he kept shifting the plate toward her. She watched him silently as she sipped the tea, slowly observing the scars on his face.