Weed ~The One’s Gardener~ - Chapter 75

‘Why wouldn’t I die? What regrets do I have left? Really, what regrets could there be?’

There were no regrets. She just wanted to die. There was no reason left to live, though she lacked the courage to die.

“I’ve, I’ve been too selfish…”

“Hana.”

“I’ve been thinking only about myself, trying to take it easy…”

“It’s not your fault.”

“Even this time… if I had given my blood to Innis, could she have lived? She might have, right? Even just a little… more…”

“Hana. It’s not like that. None of it is your fault.”

Something she couldn’t quite grasp had left a scar deep inside her heart. Unable to cry out loud, Hana just let the tears stream silently. Weed gently embraced her. She couldn’t bring herself to hug him back and just sobbed.

He carefully stroked her back.

“Hana. It’s okay… You’re not selfish.”

Hana said nothing, either. She couldn’t.

It wasn’t okay. It couldn’t be.

Innis died of the divine disease… and Weed would die of it, too. Both of them knew it. One of them, perhaps both, was destined to die that way. They had seen the end of the disease in advance. Withering miserably in death.

Knowing this and doing nothing, how could that not be selfish?

“It’s okay.”

‘I’m not okay.’

You’re not okay either.

If there had been a way to save her, she would have… If there had been a method.

It was impossible then. No matter how much she claimed to love her, no matter how sincere she was, there were limits.

No matter how much she wanted to tear out her organs for her, no matter how much she wanted to die in her place, there was nothing she could do. That was what was so agonizing. That regret lingered until death and dropped her into this place.

Now, it was different. Now, there was something she could do for someone she loved.

‘… I’m not okay.’

But maybe you are okay.

Why else would she have come here? Why else would she have grown to like him? It was said that a sacrifice truly comes here to give their life willingly. No one forces them, and it just happened that way.

Everything was true.

‘They grant what you desire. Isn’t it just like heaven?’

Now, she understood. It just wasn’t the right time before.

* * *

On that day, Hana did nothing. Her feet no longer hurt, and her hips felt better than ever. Yet, her heart ached so much that she found herself hugging Weed. He hesitated for a moment, but since she wanted it, he kissed her carefully. His large hand gently stroked her back, enveloping her in warmth.

Exhausted from crying, Hana fell asleep.

In her dream, someone laughed. It was a loud, joyous laughter that seemed to also carry an undertone of sorrowful crying. The laughter grated on her nerves. She slightly opened her eyes. Her arms felt empty.

Hana got up from the bed like a ghost.

She felt terribly uneasy, so she walked aimlessly. She didn’t know where she was going, and she just walked. She stepped on sharp stones with her bare feet, wounding them, though that pain was trivial. She kept walking until something happened.

[ “You always wanted to save lives. You were obsessed with it.” ]

Void whispered softly, the voice both joyful and sad.

[ “I’m glad to know the true nature of your lingering regret. It seems that it won’t be long now.” ]

Something emerged from the darkness.

[ “But I am also sad.” ]

Dim dawn light. The quivering figure. Its tender grass-like jade hair. He looked fragile.

“Cough, cough…”

Harsh coughing erupted, followed by blood spattering the ground. Everyone looked up to him, but to her, he seemed too frail.

Weed.

Hana cursed under her breath.

This was just too much.

She had heard he was sick, too, that Weed was suffering from the divine disease. The reason she was summoned to this world was solely for him. The ritual was forced by the priests who wanted to cure Weed’s deteriorating mind and body rather than the world’s issues.

Yet, Hana had never really felt it. Weed had always maintained a neat appearance in front of her, providing her with comfort in this strange place. Only after seeing him break down like this did she truly feel it in her heart.

Weed was wasting away. Dying.

Hana admitted to herself that she had been selfish. Really, it was undeniably selfish. Despite knowing everything, she knew that he was suffering and dying… and yet she did nothing. She had been intoxicated by the sweetness of the situation and was overly optimistic because of it.

Because he always looked well.

Always neat and tidy. So she thought maybe everything would be all right, even though a being as divine as Weed couldn’t possibly have infinite life force. Despite him shortening his own life to save hers, Hana did nothing at all.

“Weed.”

Startled by her voice, Weed quickly turned his head toward her from where he had been leaning on a tree, trying to maintain his posture. He hurriedly wiped the blood from his mouth and straightened up.

“Ha, Hana… how did you get here?”

“Weed, what are you doing?”

“How, how did you find this place?”

“I asked, what are you doing right now?”

“Hana, this place is dangerous. How on earth… You shouldn’t be here. No, how did you come here? It’s a long way. You couldn’t have made it here overnight with your condition… Oh, what… are you all right?”

Weed was rambling.

Looking around, Hana realized this was a place she had never seen before. None of the surroundings were familiar, even though she thought she had been everywhere with Weed. Evidently, it wasn’t somewhere she could have just walked to this morning, but that wasn’t what mattered right now.

“Weed. Answer me.”

Her voice dropped.

She asked harshly. She didn’t know how long he had been coming out here secretly to cough up blood. If she hadn’t come today, she might never have known. Maybe not until he died.

Foolishly, she had been slightly pleased at the thought of dying on the same day. That being sick, that dying could be beautiful, despite the agony it would surely bring. How could that be romantic? Because it wasn’t hurting now, she had treated it as something far off.

It felt like she had been living in a dream, just now waking up.

Hana knew, but she just knew it in her head. To her, her own situation felt as distant as words printed on a page. She wasn’t in pain right now, and she was living happily. However, he was secretly suffering, hiding his agony.

Weed, still on his feet, seemed lost for a moment before stepping closer to Hana.

“Hana, it’s still cold out. We really should go back…”

“It’s the divine disease, isn’t it? That’s why you’re vomiting blood?”

Weed hesitated for a moment before slowly nodding. He was honest, yet he attempted to offer some excuse.

“The disease. But, but…”

“Why are you hiding this from everyone, suffering alone here?”

“… It’s okay, Hana. It really is.”

“What exactly is okay about this?”

A hollow laugh escaped her.

She had just witnessed Weed in agony, spitting blood, yet he was lying to her face. It was blatantly obvious that he was not okay.

Hana glanced again at the spot where his blood had fallen. True to the nature of his life-giving power, a bunch of herbs and flowers had sprouted where the blood touched the ground.

‘…Is he thinking of brushing it off with just that?’

“The disease kills, Weed. It’s incurable.”

“Hana, I am really okay.”

“… You’re not okay.”

“Don’t worry.”