Try Begging - Chapter 139.1

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To hate and be burdened by you, who was innocent, during those immature times, fills me with regret. After that time passed, I wanted to give you affection but was too afraid of what others might think to do so. It was foolish of me.

It’s utterly cowardly of me not to have corrected this until you became an adult, not to have told you the truth. I’m reminded every time I look back on my life that just getting older doesn’t make one an adult.

Grace, whatever you think, you’ve done nothing wrong. I’m sorry. Truly sorry.

Please take good care of your body. Don’t let those dirty bastards treat you carelessly. Never expect that demon’s brood to appreciate your ‘sacrifice.’ To them, you’re just a means to an end.

So please, please leave.

And don’t even think about trying to find out who your father is. I worry it will only hurt you more.

Just consider the past as the past and live your own life. Though I’m just a terrible person hardly worthy of being called your mother, I wish this could be of some help for you to leave all this behind and live for your happiness alone.

Go to the capital. At the Royal Heritage Bank’s headquarters, there’s a safe under the name on your birth certificate. Find what’s inside.

It’s not that I’m trying to make amends for my mistakes with money. I just hope it can be a foundation for you to start a new life elsewhere.

Remember Aunt Florence when you were little?

My sister lives in the Columbian Federation. I’ve spoken to Florence. If you ever want to settle down there, she’ll help you anytime.

As long as you’re on this land, they will continue to try and use you. So, leave far away. I hope you find a man who sees you not as a means to an end but as the end itself. Forget everything and enjoy the simple happiness of life.

It’s ridiculous to regret now, but I’ve lived my life so wrongly. The ideology of a life where everyone is equal is noble…

Yes, ideals are not wrong. The mistake is always made by humans.

Humans are too greedy to achieve those noble causes, aren’t they? Rather than using ideals as a weapon to exploit others, maybe living as an ignorant person who generously shares whatever little they have with a beggar would be more beneficial to the world.

I really had… rambled too much. I’ll stop here.

I don’t have the face to shamelessly tell you I love you. All I wish is for you to find happiness, forever, from hell.

Angela.

º º º

Facing the harsh winter wind as sharp as the truth itself, she walked on without stopping. Tears, not yet swept away by the wind, occasionally fell onto her heavy belly.

“….”

The worn rails under the dim moonlight faintly glowed, serving as her guide. Grace walked and walked. It was a late hour, and all the trains had stopped running. No sound came from the dark end of the tracks, as deep as an abyss.

Yet, in her mind, voices echoed endlessly like a busy train station at noon.

“Grace Riddle, you are the evidence that the Blanchard rebels resort to vile seductions.”

At first, I thought it was a simple infiltration mission, but Johnny kept making more demands. The leadership needs to set an example, but I don’t know what to do.

“The leadership must set an example.”

“You said you were ordered to seduce me by your fiancé.”

“That damn bastard should rot in hell! Do you know what that damned man promised?”

“Miss Riddle, if you get engaged with a pimp, you become a prostitute.”

“You don’t think this is too much of a sacrifice, do you?”

Never expect that demon’s brood to appreciate your ‘sacrifice.’ To them, you’re just a means to an end.

“That utopia will bear fruit nourished by the blood of the rebels.”

…What did they bleed for? Her mother, the orphan who died in the camp, and all those nameless women.

For whose utopia did they all bleed?