Savage Forest - Chapter 124.1

At that moment, all Enya could do was blink.

It felt as though loss, shock, realization, and despair were crashing down on her all at once.

“It was all my fault. Ever since we lost the child, you haven’t been happy with anything I brought you. You didn’t smile at any of the gifts I made for you. You avoided me in front of others and even refused the wedding ceremony. And rightly so. What woman could love a man who let her child die?”

Suddenly, Tarhan lifted his head and looked directly at her.

In an angry voice, he asked.

“Did you think that was a reason for you to leave me, even if it meant faking your own death? I had to come to terms with it. But seeing you now…”

He looked at her from head to toe, closing his eyes tight as if her appearance was unbearable.

Enya recalled how she looked.

After living in the forest for so long, chased by Servia and the skull spider, she was a mess, unable to eat or wash properly. Her short hair was wet and disheveled from the rain.

Their reunion was ruined by both of them appearing so broken.

Tarhan clawed at his hair in anguish.

“All this time, I thought you were in the wrong. I couldn’t even imagine that you would die, and I was out searching for you, certain you were dead. But then you show up like this, and I—”

He bit down hard, tearing at his hair again. Covering his face with his hands, he groaned in pain.

“You were my reason for living, and yet you dared to put yourself in danger. And look at you now. You didn’t even take care of yourself. It’s as if you’ve thrust a knife into my throat. You’ve done something more cruel to me than anyone else.”

Enya couldn’t find any words to respond, but something stirred within her—a small spark that burned intensely.

She whispered.

“…If I’m okay, then what? Will that make you feel a little better?”

“What did you say?”

Tarhan looked up again. His eyes were sharp.

Still, she didn’t back down. Her voice carried anger, and the words she had been holding in burst forth.

“Is it okay for you to roll in the mud? As long as I’m lying on a dry bed? But what about me, Tarhan? While you’re out there wallowing in filth and blood, what about me?”

Tarhan stubbornly kept his mouth shut, avoiding her gaze, before he raised his head again to look at her. Eventually, he spat out his response.

“I… don’t care. I didn’t care! I’ll bear all the hardships and pain. You just had to be by my side. That was all I needed!”

Enya felt a spark ignite in her eyes. In an instant, her body leaned closer to Tarhan, moving just half a step toward him.

“Did you really believe that would ease my heart? Did you think that just because you love me, I wouldn’t want to protect you just as fiercely?”

Tarhan stared at her with wide eyes. However, she pressed on, ignoring his gaze.

“Did it not matter to you that my heart was breaking? Not because of me, but because of you. Every time you broke someone else’s bones in your quest to protect me, every time your body was marked with scars, did it not leave a wound on my heart? Meanwhile, I felt like I was withering away, becoming useless and incapable of doing anything for you.”

Tears finally streamed from Enya’s eyes, hot droplets trickling down her chin.

“…Even if I hated myself for it?”

At her last words, Tarhan’s eyes widened. A look of despair crossed his face.

Enya fell silent, lowering her head.

The only sound was the relentless rain pounding down as if it were seeping into the very depths of her being. Silence enveloped them, capturing them in a tense stillness. Finally, as she dared to lift her gaze slightly, she caught sight of Tarhan’s shadowed, trembling eyes. He was biting his lip hard.

In a fractured voice, he spoke. His voice was trembling.

“…It’s not that I hated the thought of dying. It’s that I wanted to die.”

Enya blinked in disbelief at his unexpected response. His voice, choked as if it were spitting out blood. It had clearly been a thought he struggled to voice.

“…Did you think I wouldn’t notice? You were trying to die that day.”

His words lingered in the space between them.

Enya’s mouth fell open in shock, and the tension in her clenched fists suddenly melted away.

No way. It couldn’t be true. Had he really witnessed that day?

She opened her mouth to speak, but as soon as she met his gaze, the words escaped her.

Tarhan’s eyes were devoid of light. Whatever spark he’d once clung to had vanished, leaving only an empty stare fixed on her. He leaned forward, his forehead eventually resting on the ground. In the darkness, his body lay before Enya like a shattered statue.

“How could you do this to me? Enya, how could you…”

Something trickled from his palm, where he had buried his face.

She realized it was his tears.

…Tears she had never seen since his mother’s death.

Enya felt as if her heart had stopped.