My Past Life is Riddled With Many Sins - Chapter 138
If she violated him, would he mock her by saying, ‘I knew you were just that kind of person.’. And if she chose to stay imprisoned, keeping her conscience intact, would he refuse to let her leave, punishing her for the ‘small hypocrisy’ she tried to uphold?
Regardless of the choice, she would inevitably disappoint him. So, the only path left for her was clear.
She had to escape.
In the current situation, with the demon realm stirring in an unusual way, she was the only one with the ability to detect magic. If she let go of that power, there was a worst-case scenario: the destruction of every place outside the sanctuary, which was blessed by God’s protection.
Her family, Bliss, Darien, Lennon… everyone outside the sanctuary.
‘The only option is to take his purity away.’
But before she did that, she decided to try speaking with him one last time. She wanted to resolve this through words, if possible.
She waited for the right moment to talk. Finally, the time came when they were seated together, drinking tea.
“Friedy, I want to ask you something… When you said you’d be fine if everyone else died and it was just you and me, were you serious?”
She set her teacup down and cautiously asked.
“You said I had illusions about you. But what I observed in my past life was that you were always fair and consistent with everyone. In fact, I’ve even secretly watched you. Yet, no matter where I was, your attitude remained the same, whether I was present or not. It didn’t feel like an act to me.”
“It wasn’t an act.”
Valenti’s reply caught her off guard. Wasn’t this the opposite of what he had said earlier? His calm gaze met her questioning eyes, and he elaborated without hesitation.
“To me, it was the same. But it wasn’t that I loved everyone equally, it was that everyone was equally meaningless.”
His soft, pleasant voice continued smoothly, wrapped in a tone of kindness.
“Since I was young, whether I liked something or disliked it, nothing ever changed for me. I had nothing I considered special, so there was no reason to show any kind of favoritism. That’s why I was fair and consistent. But people thought I was a philanthropist.”
Regina felt as if she had been struck.
“But you were kind to everyone. If it was meaningless, you didn’t have to go that far, so why…?”
“If someone earnestly asks for help, and it’s something so simple for me to solve, why would I refuse?”
His response made Regina realize that she had been caught in a completely mistaken impression all along.
“So… so please, let me go. If it’s meaningless to you, but you can still help, then… help me save the people from the demon realm…”
“You are the exception, Your Majesty.”
His silver eyes narrowed smoothly.
“You are the one who showed me what it means to like or dislike someone—something I never understood before.”
“What… does that mean?”
“Your Majesty is the only person I both like and dislike.”
Her heart sank with the weight of his words.
“Margrave Linzmeyer, Prince Nyx, the Chancellor, concubine Batusha and Rivnoir, the favorite concubine…I dislike them, but if they have nothing to do with you, they mean nothing to me. The only person I truly like and dislike is you.”
Without making a sound, Valenti gently placed his teacup back on the saucer, then stood up. Circling around the round table, he closed the distance and rested his hands on the armrests of her chair.
Suddenly, Regina found herself trapped between his arms, with his upper body looming over her, as though she was surrounded on all sides.
“You want me to let you out? For the sake of others?”
His slightly dulled voice settled in her ears.
“That’s impossible. Before I knew you were reincarnated, I could be the pope, serving everyone fairly, but not anymore. No matter how much I weigh everyone else, they don’t compare to you.”
As he gently traced his long fingers over the lower part of her elbow, he whispered.
She remained frozen, staring up at him. His mystical, sacred silver eyes were entirely focused on her. An inexplicable thrill surged up her spine.
He’s serious. Even if she placed all of humanity on the scale, his thoughts wouldn’t change.
Frozen and unsure of what to do, Regina realized that the negotiation had failed. The only option left for her was clear.
‘Again…’
She would have to defile him once more in this life.
Tonight, she decided, she would take his purity. It was something she had to do, so it was better to get it over with. Dragging it out would only prolong the suffering.
Without speaking, he silently examined her face, which had become shadowed.
When night fell, Valenti bathed her and dried her wet hair. There had been no sign of hesitation the first night, but in the days that followed, his touch had become noticeably more skillful. Once a noble, now the pope, he had never served anyone in this way before, yet he showed no sign of discomfort.
“If it’s alright, would you like a drink?”
As bedtime approached, his voice broke through her tense nerves, and he approached her with a white bottle. It was the first time he had offered her alcohol outside of mealtime, so she was slightly surprised.
However, remembering what she had to do, she figured it might be better to have a drink to ease her nerves and nodded.
He set two glasses on the table. The bottle he held was engraved with the symbol of the temple, indicating that the drink was made with holy water.
Regina was intrigued. Alcohol made with holy water was a rare delicacy, even an Emperor wouldn’t have easy access to it.
The clear liquid poured from the white bottle, filling the glasses. The rich aroma made her mouth water, and she could already taste it in her mind.
Once the glasses were filled, Valenti raised his own, as though proposing a toast. With no reason to refuse, Regina lifted hers as well. The crystal glasses lightly clinked together, emitting a clear, sharp sound.
After taking a sip, a satisfied expression spread across her face.
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