This BL Novel Is Ruined Now - Chapter 172

BLR has been completely translated on Patreon

Chapter 172

Translator: Yonnee

RP: Haebaragi_syk

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And even if it’s possible to do so, she held no desire for it.

Despite the twinge of regret for the past that she hadn’t fully embraced, her attachment to the present was much stronger.

Especially the memories she had built with Ethan—now that their hearts were in sync—were invaluable and irreplaceable.

As her thoughts flowed in that direction, her expression became slightly melancholic. It was because she remembered the matter that she had momentarily forgotten thanks to Paul.

‘Eli and Ethan… How am I going to handle this?’

If she were to weigh the emotions in her heart, her feelings for Ethan were more significant.

Perhaps because the nature of the affection she held for the two of them was fundamentally different.

‘It’s really difficult.’

Her one and only ‘lover’ was at odds with one of her few ‘friends’. It was a frustrating and confusing situation, like wandering in a labyrinth. How should she deal with this situation?

“Paul, you know…”

“Yeah?”

Reina decided to open up and share her concerns. Though for some reason, Paul didn’t seem like a great love councilor.

“Why do you keep doing that, just starting something then trailing off.”

Reina wrinkled her nose once and rested her chin on her hands, opening them up at her chin like a flower vase.

“Just because. I missed you, my friend.”

“Did you have to call me with such a serious face just to say that?”

“Was my face serious?”

“Yeah, very. As serious as when you got the chocolate prohibition order.”

“What the heck.”

At the ridiculous comparison, pfft! she burst into laughter.

Still, friends were friends.

As time went by, despite just having a casual conversation, the tension that had settled within her was gradually dissipating.

“If I didn’t have you, Paul, I wonder how I’d survive.”

With a nostalgic feeling, she pursed her lips at him, and this time, Paul couldn’t help but burst into laughter.

“Y’know, you’ve gotten a lot cuter in the time we’ve been apart.”

“You’re calling this cute?”

“Yup.”

“In that case, enjoy it to the fullest. This cuteness is just for you alone to enjoy. Got it?”

“Yes, I got it.”

After a few exchanges of playful banter, the plate was suddenly cleaned. Reina, surprised by the unusually fast pace of Paul’s meal, blinked.

“Were you seriously being starved until now? Why are you scarfing it all down so quickly?”

Without answering, Paul stood up, smiling broadly.

“Do you know something? If it weren’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have even thought about sitting in the kitchen and eating like this.”

As Reina followed Paul, clearing the dishes, her shoulders trembled with a sense of pride.

“Is this all you’ve got? Without me, you wouldn’t have gone this far in life.”

“That’s true.”

While tidying up, Reina’s gaze was inadvertently drawn to Paul’s arms. As she reached out, she accidentally raised the sleeve slightly, revealing a bluish bruise-like mark.

“Huh?”

Having yet another strange feeling, Reina naturally grabbed his arm. Paul reacted as if he had been shocked, his body jerking and instantly pushing her hand away.

“…Paul?”

A sudden situation unfolded.

Both the one who had touched and the one who had pushed her hand away were equally stunned.

However, once again, Paul chose to change the subject rather than offer a reasonable explanation.

“Ah~ I’m so full, but I want desserts now! How about we go out to the garden?”

“…Hey.”

“Oh! I also want to eat Reina’s sweet root jam!”

“Paul. Stop trying to avoid the topic. You’ve been doing it since earlier.”

“Or should we go uptown to check out the chocolate shops? Don’t you like doing that, Reina?”

“……”

Seeing his blatant attempts to divert the conversation, Reina’s expression finally hardened. She had only doubts earlier, but now it was quite clear.

Something had happened to him.

“Paul, you—”

But before the question could be uttered in its entirety, a large hand covered her crimson lips.

Reina’s eyes widened in surprise at her friend’s unexpected action.

He shook his head and slightly mouthed the words,

Please don’t say anything.

“……”

Just what on earth was happening here.

In the face of this unfamiliar expression and gesture from her friend, Reina was left speechless. The hand covering her lips was then removed naturally.

“Alright, shall we go to the garden for dessert, Reina?”

He spoke as if nothing had just happened, in his usual, languid tone, as if he had just awakened from a nap.

Reina, unsure of what to make of the situation, kept her lips sealed and followed him obediently.

It seemed there was no other choice. The hand that had held hers had conveyed its message.

Don’t say anything.

The circumstances, the precarious look in Paul’s eyes, and the lack of explanation… All of it was frustrating.

She glanced at him, her gaze seeking answers, but he merely lowered his head, offering a completely different expression.

I’ll explain later, Reina. I’m sorry.

“……”

Eleven years. That’s how long they had been together, laughing and crying by each other’s side.

They didn’t spend every single day of the year together, but during the winter and summer, they always visited each other’s territories, spending several months together.

Even when they weren’t physically together, they communicated through calls and letters, sharing all their moments—the times of depression to joy, and even all the embarrassing moments deserving to be part of their dark histories… They knew everything about each other, truly.

Indeed. Reina realized that the time she had spent with Paul might have exceeded the time she spent with her parents, due to the empire’s regulations.

However, she couldn’t fathom why she, herself, was completely in the dark on what was going on with Paul now.

It was evident that something serious had happened to him, and all his actions at the moment were not mere jokes.

Reina bit her lower lip and let out a small sigh, then stopped in her tracks, holding his hand.

“…So, what kind of dessert would you like to eat?”

I can help you.

“I want something really sweet.”

I’m sorry. I can’t tell you right now.

“……”

The welter of worries, concerns, and regrets surged through her, impossible to put into words.

“What d’you wanna eat, Reina?”

I’m so sorry, Reina.

Witnessing him apologize three times now, Reina finally furrowed her eyebrows and swept a hand over her forehead with worry.