Saintess - Chapter 33
Chapter 33
Translator: Yonnee
—
In such a short time, she had completely forgotten about her beloved mother-in-law and husband.
And as if it wasn’t enough that she forgot about them, she even started thinking about conceiving the count’s child even though she was already wed to another man!
As her eyes widened, they became welled up with tears.
She was horrified by her own terrible thoughts of leaning completely into the count’s solace.
“You’re crazy, Agnes. Truly crazy.”
She had been pacing around the room busily until now, but the moment her reflection got caught in the mirror, she stopped.
There, in the mirror, was a woman donned in immaculately white holy robes.
Agnes looked at her reflection for a long time. Somehow, it felt as if she was looking at a stranger.
Beautifully healthy, blushing cheeks, brilliant silver hair, fair and supple skin.
Lively eyes…
“Ha…”
Tears trickled down Agnes’s face.
Before this, there was not a single second in her life that she ever thought of herself as beautiful.
At least, not until right this moment, as she saw herself in the mirror now.
* * *
“Unfortunately… She failed to conceive a child again this time.”
The doctor spouted these words carefully as though it was a pity, and he laughed helplessly.
Agnes had her regular check-up earlier today.
She had been told that it was a simple medical examination, but truthfully, it was to check whether she was pregnant. Unfortunately, the doctor couldn’t tell the news that the count had been looking forward to.
Instead, Agnes’s appearance had changed noticeably in a little over two months.
Before coming here, she had been so malnourished that she looked skin and bones, but she had now gained weight in a good way.
Her previously weak, emaciated face could no longer be found now.
And besides that, she seemed to be more relaxed now. It’s enough to say that it felt like she was a completely different person.
Inwardly, the doctor clicked his tongue. These changes were all thanks to the goodwill of the count.
“Is that so?”
Without betraying any of his inner thoughts, Raon nodded expressionlessly.
Compared to Agnes, who looked to be in full bloom, Raon’s appearance was the opposite. He looked so gaunt these days.
His uniquely beautiful appearance was still undoubtedly there, but his mental anguish seemed to have become a greatly heavy burden on him.
‘Indeed. His Lordship has been serving God diligently, but I don’t know what he’s thinking now.’
The fact that the count had been sharing a bed with Agnes after making her drink sleeping pills was known only by three people: the doctor, the butler Clovis, and the head maid of the mansion.
Raon was trying so hard, and the doctor knew that. As he delivered the bad news, he also felt terribly saddened.
Though the count said nothing about it, the guilt he must be feeling was palpable. The doctor couldn’t help but notice.
“She cannot seem to conceive a child right away because the effects of nutritional imbalance lasts for a long time. For now, please don’t worry about it. Let’s watch and see.”
“Thank you for your hard work. I’ll see you again on the next check-up.”
“Are you alright, Your Lordship? You don’t look very well.”
Looking as though he could collapse at any given moment, Raon struggled to reply.
“I’m fine.”
“I know that you must be having a difficult time. I shall pray for you every day, Your Lordship.”
“…Thank you.”
After the doctor left, Raon visited the underground prayer room for the first time in a long while.
He had completely stopped coming to this place after he had admitted to himself that he truly wanted Agnes. The prayer room was completely coated with dust.
Going down on his knees, he looked up at the statue and clasped his hands together.
“O, God Almighty. Even if it is in the distant future, I sincerely hope that the day shall come when I will be able to understand the meaning behind the trials You have given me. Even if I dare doubt Your will, I know that You shall never allow me to lose my way…”
Raon spoke as though he was entranced, but suddenly, he stopped.
And before he knew it, Raon’s complexion had turned ashen.
Thud! A loud noise broke out.
Raon hit his head on the cold floor, yet did not let out a pained groan even once.
“Damn it.”
Closing his eyes, he let out a curse.
The man’s face was filled with unbridled emotions.
And, again.
THUD!
The loud sound echoed once more.
And he continued to pound his head against the floor over and over.
In the end, as the skin on his forehead got torn, red blood flowed down.
“O, God Almighty. I felt relieved.”
And when Raon finally opened his eyes again, the usual calm expression returned to his face.
“I felt so relieved that she wasn’t pregnant. No, rather, I felt pleased.”
It was obvious that, once the saintess would get pregnant, Raon’s legitimate reason for coveting Agnes would disappear.
When it occurred to him that he might no longer be able to be one with Agnes again, he felt into a terrible dilemma.
Raon was so very nervous as the doctor was examining Agnes.
He was filled with such overwhelming worries of what would happen if she got pregnant. His chest became so heavy that he couldn’t breathe properly.
Eventually, however, he heard from the doctor that Agnes couldn’t get pregnant this time. Raon was so obviously relieved.
He couldn’t fight against his filthy desires.
He smiled coldly.
“…In the end, I’ve become a monster.”
Finishing his prayer, Raon fell unconscious right where he was.
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