Killing Your Sweet Breath - Chapter 11
Chapter 6.1
Winter tried to shake off Ian’s hand, but it only made him tighten his grip.
Winter shot him a questioning look, but Ian stepped forward, not letting her go.
“Her Ladyship pricked her finger on a rose thorn. I was only tending to it.”
“Is that so?”
Van looked between Winter and Ian with a scrutinizing gaze, creating a suffocating silence.
“Show me.”
But it only lasted a moment before he spoke to Winter again, in a gentler voice this time.
“Your finger, let me see it.”
He reached for Winter’s hand, watching as a drop of blood trickled down the tip of her finger.
Casually, without an ounce of shame, Van brought the tip of her finger into his mouth. His warm tongue touched her skin, and the red blood smeared on his lips.
“Reminds me of old times.”
He smiled, his eyes curving.
Winter quickly pulled back.
Old times, he said.
Of course, she had good memories with him, but thinking back to those times automatically made her think of Ruhen and its beautiful land, which was something she didn’t want to remember.
“Winter, do you remember when you foolishly hid inside those rose bushes and refused to come out?”
As he spoke, Winter’s gaze flickered to the seam of his lips, now tinged red with her blood.
Because of him, she couldn’t help but think back to that day. Honestly, she had been thinking about it ever since she saw the rose vines scaling up the walls of the estate.
There were many beautiful roses, ones that looked just like these, that were in full bloom in Ruhen the day she first met Van.
“Who would have thought that you would hide amongst the thorns to escape from me?”
When Winter was just seven years old, their engagement was decided.
Normally, a member of a duke’s family would go to the capital to meet the imperial family.
But Winter cried and threw tantrums for days when she heard she was to meet her fiancé. Because of this, the empress brought Van to Ruhen herself.
Even at a young age, she understood that being engaged to the most important man in the empire was a huge deal, but in her eyes, a marriage was still a marriage.
The thought of leaving her parents’ arms someday was a much more pressing issue in young Winter’s mind than becoming the prince’s fiancée.
She wished someone else would take her place as the prince’s bride. She was living the happiest life in Ruhen, so naturally, she dreamed of residing in her parents’ arms forever.
So when she saw the flag with the imperial seal arrive, she ran.
Too scared to even leave the castle grounds, she snooped around the warehouse and stables before finally choosing to hide in the winter rose bushes.
In her childish mind, it seemed better to hide, but she grew hungrier as each minute passed.
The evenings in the territory of Ruhen were so bone-chilling that even thick clothes couldn’t ward off the cold, and as the night drew closer, goosebumps rose on her skin.
Sitting still all day made her restless and caused her knees to hurt.
She was afraid to come out, certain that she would be scolded by her mother.
Not only did she keep their guest waiting all day, but everyone inside the castle was searching for her, so she knew that not even her father would take her side.
Should I do it or not? She kept repeating inside her mind over and over.
When dinner time finally arrived, young Winter just wanted to cry.
As she shivered in those rose bushes, the day fading into dusk, it was Van who found her in the end. Not her mother, her father, or any knight of Ruhen—him.
His eyes were the first thing she saw through the rose vines.
The evening sky glowed red, as if the roses themselves had been steeped into the clouds. Yet, the sunset she saw reflected in Van’s eyes was more beautiful than the sky itself.
“I found you. My fiancée.”
Upon hearing those words, even Winter’s face would have turned as red as the sunset.
Seeing Van push through the coarse winter rose bushes, not a trace of hesitation on his face as he reached out a hand, Winter thought, “Maybe going to the capital once in a while wouldn’t be so bad.”
She took his hand and carefully stepped out from the vines, and only then did she see how dirty the bottom of his pants had become.
Then she saw that his noble hand was entirely scratched and covered in wounds from the thorns.
Winter, filled with remorse, burst into tears and blurted out apologies and promises to be a good fiancée, asking for forgiveness.
That’s when she felt a soft touch on her fingertips.
Despite his own hand being more of a mess, Van brought her finger to his mouth and sucked the blood from her scratch.
“Now it won’t hurt anymore.”
And then, almost as if he had done so many times before, he interlinked their hands and led her to where the adults were.
Van had been born a kind-hearted child.
“Yeah, it does remind me of old times.”
Winter turned away, breaking their eye contact.
The look in his eyes now had a subtle difference from the one she had seen in the past.
After being engaged to him for ten years, she couldn’t miss it.
So she realized.
The Van from the past was gone.
The tender affection he once showed had morphed into a twisted obsession, leaving only a faint trace behind.
“I’ll marry you.”
Thus, Winter decided to make a contract with him.
If his affection had remained as pure as before, she would have felt guilty for giving herself away, as empty as she was.
But just as Winter had changed, so had Van Helgram.
He craved not the reciprocation of affection, but solely Winter herself.
Fine, she could give herself to him. As much as he needed.
Her value seemed infinitely light, while the burden of revenge weighed heavily, surpassing the entirety of her existence.
The life she had already chosen to relinquish felt lighter than a feather.