It's Not Night - Chapter 181.2
“Andra, I’m sorry. So…”
His words were cut short as Andra, overwhelmed with emotion, slapped him with all her strength.
“Did you think I’d be happy if you left like that? Who gave you the right to die first, you bastard!”
“…Andra.”
“How, how could you die in front of me like that? Why did you leave? Why only you? I told you not to do it! I begged you not to, so many times… How could you be so selfish and stubborn until the end!”
Andra clung to his clothes, shaking them as she cried uncontrollably. The image of him melting away into lava was still vividly imprinted in her mind. She raised her hand again, her anger surging. She was furious at Dustin for leaving her like that.
“…I’m sorry.”
But with just those words from Dustin, Andra’s arms fell limply. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
“You shouldn’t have left like that. It’s cowardly, so cowardly. Why did you do it? Did it have to be that way? I said we’d go together. I’d rather have died with you.”
As her tears fell like rain, Dustin reached out and gently caressed her cheek.
“How could you leave like that? Didn’t you think about how I’d be left alone? What good is your death now? You said you loved me, that you’d do anything for me! But why were you so selfish until the very end…”
“I’m sorry, I was wrong.”
“…I really hate you. I really hate you.”
How much has she regretted it? How much she hated herself for not saying ‘I love you’ in those final moments.
Finally, she looked at Dustin, whose cheek was swollen and his lip split. Despite the pain, his eyes never left her. Even as he was struck, he didn’t turn away, as if determined not to miss a single moment and was steadfastly gazing at Andra.
“Since when?”
“…From the beginning.”
“You bastard…”
Hearing this directly from Dustin felt like her heart was shattering. How lonely must he have been all that time? What must he have thought seeing her with no memory? Andra clenched her fists and pounded his chest.
“What if….I never remembered forever? Why didn’t you just tell me…? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“…I thought I should wait. I thought it was right. I said I would wait. Until you remember.”
His large hand gently stroked her face. Andra couldn’t stop crying. Tears kept flowing despite the blurred vision of the man she loved. Dustin, helpless as she cried, was visibly distressed.
“Don’t cry, Andra. I’m fine. I’m just paying for my sins. My past… I thought of it as paying for my sins against you. I was willing to endure it…”
“What nonsense…”
“Even if you don’t remember, it’s my responsibility. I waited for you, but I didn’t want to disrupt your life. I’ve done enough damage with the past. So… don’t cry. Okay?”
At some point, Andra realized that Dustin was crying too. Tears were falling from his eyes.
“Who… who ruined it? Who… It was all my choice…”
Fool, idiot… Where did the arrogant and defiant man go? All that remained was this man who seemed to only look to her for approval. Andra reached out to him, finally voicing the words she had long regretted not saying.
“I love you.”
I really love you, Dustin.
I don’t hate you anymore. I don’t despise you, nor am I irritated. I only love you.
Andra said this, holding onto Dustin’s collar and lifting her head to him. His face looked incredulous. She then slowly kissed him.
I’m sorry for only saying it now. I love you too.
More than my own life.
* * *
Epilogue
Dean looked around the empty Hezel.
The haven that had been theirs was slowly collapsing into nothingness. In truth, the real Hezel had been destroyed long ago by the Primordial God. This place was just Anat’s last fragment of memory. The fact that this place was disappearing…
“Ah…”
Dean spotted someone standing on a nearby balcony. Her white hair was fluttering in the wind. He gasped for breath and hurried toward that figure. His God was there. The God he had longed to see. Dean looked at Anat’s back with disbelief.
Soon, the God turned to look at the human she had always loved.
“Dean.”
Tears burst forth. The woman, who he had finally met again after so long, was so beautiful and unchanged. She still looked at him with eyes full of love.
He slowly approached Anat. Without hesitation, Anat hugged him. The large man finally crumbled, beginning to weep like a child.
“Oh, my dearest God.”
How could you make me so powerless…
Anat smiled as she wiped away Dean’s tears. Behind her, Hezel was rapidly fading away.
“Do you regret it?”
“No, humans no longer need gods, so it’s time to disappear. It’s a return to the beginning, Dean.”
Although it is said that humans exist because of gods, Anat now understood that gods existed because of humans. Therefore, the illusion she had created had to crumble.
Anat turned her head and looked at the collapsing Hezel with satisfaction.