I Don't Need the Grand Duke's Regret - Chapter 41
Chapter 41
Translator: effe
In the silence, the sound of the bedroom window shaking loudly rang out. Armilla couldn’t bear the awkward silence and spoke hesitantly.
“At the end, I should have quickly moved away from His Grace, right?”
“At the end, you say?”
The Missus’s face changed even more strangely. It was as if she had heard the strangest story. Armilla glanced left and right at her reaction.
Did she say something wrong? Was it unnecessary to bring up? She regretted it.
“I thought that the Grand Duke would not hold the first night. However, he did.”
After watching Armilla in silence for a while, the Missus spoke heavily.
“If I had known that, I would have told you something, like when I sent my daughter away for marriage.”
Warmth returned to the Missus’s eyes as she observed Armilla.
“It’s okay, just take your time and tell me, Lady Armilla. How do you have a relationship with His Grace?”
The Missus spoke with a faint smile. It was a fleeting smile, but Armilla felt as if she had won a battle. She nodded slowly and took a deep breath.
“His Grace always pushed me away at the end. So I naturally thought I had to go along with that….”
“What are you saying. That’s not true, Lady Armilla.”
The Missus cut off Armilla’s story with a regretful tone. Feeling stifled, she continued.
“To conceive a child, seed is needed. A man’s seed must be planted in a woman.”
“What?”
“So, what you said about His Grace at the end was probably…”
The Missus couldn’t continue. But that alone was enough explanation. Armilla clenched her skirt with trembling hands. She took a deep breath and spoke.
“His Grace does not want a child, it seems.”
Water pooled in her green eyes. Armilla’s face contorted as she recalled Ricardo’s cold smile and his rough touch exploring her body.
It was okay if Ricardo didn’t love her. She loved him. He wanted her.
So, someday, if a child were to be born between them…
If Armilla had a child resembling Ricardo…
She didn’t think he would bring up the idea of divorce once she bear the heir to the Grand Duchy.
“Maybe, that’s the better…?”
Armilla’s eyes shook with anxiety. As she buried her tear-filled eyes, the Missus sighed. She treated Armilla’s wounds in silence and closed the medicine box.
“There’s nothing I can do to help.”
The Missus’ tone returned to a professional one. Sympathy shone on her face.
But that was all. The issue of the succession to the Grand Duchy was not a matter for a mere chief maid to intervene. Armilla was well aware of that fact. So she forced a smile.
“I’m okay, Missus. Thank you for letting me know.”
“….Understood.”
The Missus seemed like she wanted to say something more, but she turned and left. After the door closed, Armilla buried her face in her hands.
It was miserable.
More so than when she was rejected by Ricardo, more so than when she was ignored by him.
Armilla tightly shut her eyes, tears streaming down her face.
Wanting a child with Ricardo felt completely natural to her.
Because she had married the person she loved.
But Ricardo wasn’t the same. He was avoiding having a child.
Secretly, from Armilla.
Armilla opened her eyes and looked down at her knees. Biting her lip as she gazed at the red scar smeared with ointment.
She felt like a fool.
For Ricardo, she wasn’t his wife. She was merely a tool to avoid political marriage, an object for his pleasure.
Armilla wanted to deny the conclusion she had come to, but she couldn’t. It was the truth.
What was even more agonizing was that she couldn’t do anything about it. As long as she leaves Ricardo, she could only be used as he pleased.
But Armilla couldn’t leave Ricardo. He was her entire world.
“Huh…”
Her slender shoulders trembled, and a pitiful sob escaped her. There was no one to comfort Armilla as she sat alone in the spacious bedroom, crying her heart out into the dark night.
* * *
Ricardo went for a hunt to subdue beasts. It was uncertain when he would return. It was his routine to leave suddenly and return just as unexpectedly.
“Have a safe journey.”
Armilla bid farewell to Ricardo, concealing her miserable feelings. Ricardo nodded with an expressionless face at her bright smile.
“Let me know if anything comes up during my absence.”
“Yes.”
Ricardo gave orders to Nasir before swiftly mounting his horse. Watching him effortlessly climb onto the horse with his long legs, Armilla swallowed a lump in her throat.
Ricardo’s black hair swayed in the cold wind as he adjusted the reins. His violet eyes lingered on Armilla as he swept his hair back.
“What’s with your face?”
“….yes?”
Armilla absentmindedly touched her face, noticing that her skin felt unusually rough. It was likely because she had been having trouble sleeping at night lately.
Armilla lowered her eyes and pursed her lips.
“It’s nothing, just…”
“Just?”
“Please come back safely.”
“I will.”
Ricardo dismissed Armilla’s farewell as if it were a matter of course.
In truth, Armilla had wanted to say those words to Ricardo several times over the past few days.
I know now, too.
So, don’t play with me.
But Armilla’s courage to raise her voice to Ricardo was infinitely small, and he was too preoccupied to listen to her.
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